A Sticky Situation
by Cairistona
Summary: Ironhide gets into a predicament after transforming with candy in his cab. Gum isn't easily removed. There's a solution, but Hide's less than cooperative. Prime & Chromia come to help Ratchet, but nothing's ever as easy as it sounds, and the twins are up to trouble. IHxChromia, OPxElita. Ch 24, The twins borrow soap from the femmes with disastrous results.
1. Chapter 1, Sensors

In my other Transformers story, _You Have Found a Home_, in chapter 26, Ratchet mentioned something unpleasant that happened to Ironhide. This is the full story. (You don't have to read the other story for this one to make sense).

This story's got a bit of humor, some fluff, and quite a bit pair interaction. (Nothing explicit, mostly fluff). It's fun, but it's got some serious parts, too.

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><p>Chapter 1<p>

**Sensors**

Weapons Specialist Ironhide had been sitting in a grocery-store parking-lot for thirty-nine minutes. It was not the most fitting place for an ancient Autobot warrior, but he had his reasons. Good reasons, three of them, and their names all ended in "Lennox."

Major William Lennox he saw almost every day, of course, on NEST Base; however, it was not every day that Sarah and Annabelle, Will's wife and daughter, came to visit. Sarah had desired to go on a shopping trip, despite the fact that there were plenty supplies at the base. Ironhide understood, though, that human's bonded with each other on shopping trips. He wanted them to have that time together, and he wanted them to be safe while they enjoyed it. Thus he'd insisted on being their escort on their little spree.

Forty minutes of sitting in a parking-lot wasn't his favorite thing. But he was loyal. He scanned the area again, ensuring that it was still safe. Decepticon activity had been down, but he had to ever be on guard.

The Lennox's emerged from the store, bearing their bags of purchases. Instinctively, Ironhide scanned the bags. Decepticons could plant little devices anywhere; he couldn't be too careful. The contents seemed to be just fine. Mostly plastics and a little metal appeared on his readings, as well as some paper. The scan of the final four bags disturbed him however. It revealed high amounts of sugars and corn syrups, oils and acids. And it was long:

_Baking powder, baking soda, bee's wax, BHT, Blue 1 Lake, Blue 2 Lake, brown sugar, calcium sterate, carnauba wax, cellophane, cellulose gum, chocolate, citric acid, cocoa butter, confectioner's glaze, corn syrup, cornstarch, dextrose, egg whites, expeller pressed palm fruit oil, folic acid, fumaric acid, glycerin, gum Arabic, honey, lactic acid, lactose, malic acid, malted barley flour, milk fat, milk, mineral oil, molasses, niacin, nonfat milk, paper, peanuts, pectin, PGPR, plastic, pure vanilla extract, Red 40 Lake, reduced iron, riboflavin, salt, sodium citrate, soy lecithin, sugar, TBHQ, thiamine mononitrate, titanium dioxide, vanillin, Yellow 5 Lake, Yellow 6 Lake…_

'Candy.' Ironhide identified. 'Lots of candy. I'll never thoroughly understand why humans ingest so many harmful things… but they're free moral agencies, - and Prowl has a rule about letting them eat what they want to eat- so I can't dictate what they eat. But _still!_' He growled a little bit in his inner-workings about the candy. He didn't like it.

Annabelle bounced the last few steps to pat his running board and hug his fender. Will Lennox opened doors, and his ladies got in.

"Why so much candy, William Lennox?" Ironhide demanded once the humans were buckled in and he was on the road.

"We have some friends back at the base who would like a little treat." Will answered. And by the intonation, Ironhide knew that the man meant, 'Sarah suggested it and I thought it would be fine.'

Ironhide blew a puff of hot air through his AC vents to display his displeasure, and Will patted him comfortingly on the console. "Don't worry about it, 'Hide. It's not much."

"WHEEE!" Annabelle squealed, jerking a bag, and candy flew all over the back seat. Ironhide flinched. "Uh-oh…" she giggled.

"Oh, Annabelle! What a mess…" Sarah's concern for the untidiness was nothing compared to Ironhide's sensors' concern.

**[*Warning*] [*Warning: foreign object…*] [*Warning*] [*Warning: foreign object…*] [*Warning*] [*Warning: foreign object…*] **

His sensor arrays flickered and flashed and yelled at him. He kept acknowledging the warnings, but every time a piece of candy moved, being jarred by his movements on the road, it would trigger more warnings.

**[*Warning*] [*Warning: foreign object…*] [*Warning*] [*Warning: foreign object…*] [*Warning*] [*Warning: foreign object…*] **

His sensors had grown accustomed to fabrics, plastic, wood, dirt, grit, gravel, mud, and scores of other things, being in his cab, but they didn't recognize candy as being nonthreatening.

Ironhide growled at the Cadillac that passed him on the highway.

Will Lennox frowned when Ironhide crowded a slower vehicle. "Ironhide?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Why am I detecting a more aggressive driving pattern in you? And –whoa! - Why are you exhibiting some mild road-rage?"

Ironhide eased off the little sedan. He hadn't realized he'd been crowding it. "Sorry. The candy…"

"What?" Will almost laughed.

"The spilled candy is activating half a dozen different sensors, and sending me dozens of warnings. It's making me 'edgy.'"

"Can you turn those particular sensors off?"

He didn't want to… but he could. "I _caaan_," he admitted slowly, "But I don't like going around with even some of my sensors off. Candy should not even be in this pictur-…"

"Ironhide,"

"Yes, Will?"

"Do it."

"Will…"

"That's an order."

"Yes, sir."

Having deactivated the select sensors, Ironhide calmed down and eventually began to enjoy the drive. Annabelle was singing songs, songs that his audio-receptors had grown accustomed to, although they made little sense.

He played road games with Will. Occasionally, when an exit appeared, he would act as if he wasn't sure if it was the one they were supposed to take, and he'd start to veer towards it.

"No!" Will would yelp, "Not this one!" and he'd try to turn the steering wheel, which, of course, did nothing. After a while, Will caught on and gave him a good natured punch in the door. Once, when Will decided to ignore him, he actually did take the exit.

"What! Ironhide!"

"Hahaha!" Ironhide laughed in his cab, "Want a scenic route?"

"You're driving." Will said, chuckling.

It would be back to business once they got back to base; Optimus wanted to discuss the more recent battle, and Prowl was still waiting for several reports, but they enjoyed this time.

Meeting up with the aerial transport, Ironhide drove into the cargo bay and engaged locks so he couldn't shift during the flight. The flight went well, and once on base, Ironhide took his passengers to their building and swung open his doors.

Will and Sarah Lennox climbed out, still talking. Annabelle wriggled down, holding onto the bars that Ironhide put in place for her convenience; she patted him and skipped to catch her mother's hand, and the three humans went into the building.

Then Ironhide snapped his doors shut and drove off to find Optimus.

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><p>And chapter two is coming soon. That's where the trouble really gets going...! :)<p>

I love reviews! ;)

V


	2. Chapter 2, Sticky

Whoooo! Thanks for all the great feed back! XD

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><p>Chapter 2<p>

**Sticky**

Ironhide located Optimus Prime standing among a small group of other bots.

"Welcome back," Optimus greeted when the GMC Topkick came tearing up to the group of Autobots.

"Thank-you," Ironhide replied, pleased.

"Did the trip go well?" Elita-One, the femme-commander, asked smiling, knowing that Ironhide wasn't found of shopping trips.

"Sure it did." Ironhide rumbled.

" _It's so nice to have you back where you belong!'_" Bumblebee bounced to the song a little as he played it through his speakers, and the twins, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, smiled, looking innocent enough.

[_Cab scan: result: secure:_] Ironhide automatically checked his cab before transforming.

Ironhide initiated his transform and rose into bi-pedal mode. His auditory sensors picked up an odd, crunching, crackling noise, but his other sensors didn't pick anything up. The other 'Bots gaped at him, astonishment registering on their facial plating.

"Ironhide…?" Optimus looked concerned. Elita put her fingers over her mouth.

Ironhide looked down.

His optics widened.

He was dripping candy like a battered piñata.

[_Scan: result: negative._] He froze, puzzled; the cab scan result had been secure…

His sensors… _Major William Lennox! _He had forgotten to turn his cab sensors back on, and the Lennox family had forgotten their bags of candy!

_Wreck!_

Nobot moved or said anything; they merely stood in confused wonder at the sight of sweets falling from their weapons specialist.

Ironhide pulled a torn, plastic bag out of the workings near his vambrace and dropped it on the ground in disbelief. It was hard to process the fact that he'd actually transformed with all that candy in his cab.

Sideswipe broke the silence.

"Sweet-!" he exclaimed, his face aglow with delight.

Ironhide turned on the twins, his canons charging up. Optimus snapped his battle-mask into place.

"AH! RUN!" Sunstreaker yelled, shoving his brother. They both ran before jumping into car mode and speeding away.

"Smart-mouthed little punks," Ironhide growled, glaring after them.

Optimus Prime scanned his weapon's specialist carefully, receiving readings that indicated a variety of candies and candy-wrappers throughout the mech's body, scattered by his transformation.

"What happened?" Optimus asked, look askance at him from helm to foot, frowning a little.

Ironhide pushed aside his thoughts of the twins and related the whole incident to his leader, starting from when he spotted the family with the candy.

"I just dropped them off a few minutes ago, not fully processing their actions. And… then…"Ironhide looked down at himself. "This."

"Ah…" Optimus said, looking serious. "Are your sensors back on line now?"

"No," Ironhide answered. He brought them back on line, cringing at the inundation of warnings.

Ironhide snapped the sensors off again.

"Might I suggest the bathhouse?" Optimus said. He still had his battle-mask up, and it was hiding a smile. "I believe candy is mostly sugar, and sugar dissolves in hot water." He added kindly.

"Suggestion noted." Ironhide answered, looking dour. Even after spending a number of years on earth, he still hadn't grown accustomed to that element known as H2O.

"Go, on." Optimus patted his arm and gave him a slight nudge. "It's not that bad." He encouraged.

"You weren't the one who splashed into a pool of cold, nasty, dirty, debris-ridden, polluted, chemical-ridden water when you landed on earth," Ironhide groused; he still hadn't gotten over landing in that swimming pool.

Prime gave him a firm look.

Ironhide sighed. "Yes, sir." He said. Then he tromped off, heading towards the bathhouse.

Optimus watched him go, and then he turned to the small, quiet scout beside him.

"Bumblebee," he said, "Please, go find some cleanup-personal to pick up this mess. And keep this incident confidential."

'Bee nodded and then hopped into alt-mode and drove off.

Optimus frowned. "Elita-Love, excuse me, I have to go lock down some security recordings so Ironhide doesn't have to…. Oh, no. Where did the twins go?"

Elita shook her head, "I don't know."

"I must go." He said, initiating his transform.

"Understood," Elita said, smiling as Optimus drove off in truck mode.


	3. Chapter 3, Squelched

Alright! The rules that are mentioned belong exclusively to Hummergrey, and they come from her awesome "If An Autobot do NOT do the following" fics.

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><p>Chapter 3<p>

**Squelched**

::Prowl!:: The Autobot leader hailed his Second in Command on the intercom as he drove to security headquarters.

::Prowl here. Is there a problem, Prime:: Prowl asked calmly.

::Yes, there is. Ironhide transformed with a large amount of candy in his cab and-::

Static came through from Prowl's end of the comm..

::Prowl! Do not let your logic-processors glitch; I need you! Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were there, and I fear that they're going to come up with some related prank or joke. And that would not be good::

::Understood, Prime. I will go warn them against any such actions::

::Thank-you. Also! –they are to tell no one what happened. Optimus out::

The twins were sitting in their quarters, laughing. It had been all too funny. It'd been better than a prank because nobot could take blame, except Ironhide.

"Aw… that was good!"

"Yeah, and your comment, too. Dude!" Sunny chortled, remembering the look of Ironhide's face.

"Hey…" Sides got a plotting look on his face. "I have an idea."

"What! Oh- Yeah! I know what you're thinking! -Wait… we have to check Prowler's list of rules first, before we come up with anything." Prowl had punished them enough times for breaking the rules; it was starting to get tiresome.

"Aw… yeah." Sides rolled his optics upwards in exasperation.

The twins brought out a data-pad and began scrolling through it.

"Ah, rule 28: '_Do not use Cybertronian technology to create drones for any purpose not expressly approved by command_.' That excludes a couple things…" Sunny murmured.

"Rule 54: '_No giving candy to Annabelle Lennox without clearing it with parental units AND Ironhide_.' BAHAHAHAAAA! How about 'rule 54 b: No giving candy to Ironhide without clearing it…' hehehe!"

"Hummm… Rule 67: '_Do not turn fellow Autobots into human toys_.' Spoil-sport. We coulda made a candy-dispenser…"

"Oh. Rule 104: '_Do not show a lack of respect to any command officer based on physical appearance or injuries, NEST or human_.' Would you say being chockfull of candy is an injury?"

"Mmmmaybeeee… Well, I don't quite know…" Sunny cocked his head speculatively.

A knock sounded at their quarters' door, making them jump.

"What? It's Prowl!"

"What's he doing here? We haven't done anything!" Sides whispered.

"Well, not yet…" Sunny muttered.

They hid the data-pad and opened the door.

"Hi'ya, Prowl. What's up?" Sunny asked, smiling broadly as Sides grinned innocently.

Prowl looked at them with doubt, still not wholly accustomed to the human phrase of 'what's up?'.

"Prime has sent me here to warn you. You are not to take any actions mocking, teasing, suggesting, parodying-"

"Etc." said Sunny.

Prowl looked long-sufferingly at the yellow twin.

"It's a fabulous little word the humans have." Side explained, waving his hands, and Sunny added, "It means 'and the like.' It cuts down on long lists of similar things."

"Understood," Prowl said. "…Ridiculing, etc., Ironhide's misadventure. Action by you resulting from Ironhide's misfortune of this afternoon will be punished. Prime also orders that this incident is not to be communicated about in any way whatsoever. Ironhide is an officer deserving of your respect, not your derision and puerile pranks."

The twins looked at each other.

"Understood?" Prowl asked.

{_Search: query: definition "Puerile"= 1. juvenile; 2. childish, silly_}

"Understood." The twins answered in unison.

Satisfied, Prowl walked away. Ironhide would be safe from them and their pranks.

Hopefully.


	4. Chapter 4, Submerged

Aw, everybody is expecting the twins to pull something off! (I feel almost bad for not having them do something...) But that's not really a part of this story. They do prank Ironhide in my other story, _You Have Found A Home,_ in chapter 19, but that's all I have for twin pranks.

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

**Submerged**

Ironhide stood just outside the mechs' side of the bathhouse and looked back at the slight trail of candy particles.

"Yuck." His tactile sensors were indicating various foreign objects sifting through his workings. Some dry candy wafers had to turned into powder, leaving behind only their crinkly plastic wrappers that said "Smarties" on them. The taffies and caramels and Toosie Rolls were getting very gooey in his workings. It was gross. And the chocolate stuff… it was melting from his body heat. He squirmed. Oh, and the peanut M&M's were crunchy AND gooey. It was enough to make his tanks churn with sickness, just feeling those weird textures in his workings. Right now he wasn't sure which was worse: the candy, or the water?

He really wasn't fond of water.

::Ironhide:: the message came over the intercom from Optimus.

::Yes, Prime?:: Ironhide replied.

::Are you in the bathhouse?::

There was a pause at Ironhide's end on the comm. before his next word. ::Yes::

::Are you by any chance actually wet?:: The Autobot leader knew him well.

::Yes, actually:: He was. His feet were wet from a little puddle. ::Ironhide out::

Ironhide's optics focused dismally on the scrub clothes and brushes, starting to calculate how long it would take to get all the sticky, sugary human food out, and on just how he was going to get it out of his inner workings. He could, perhaps, transform back into a truck… no… maybe… no.

The door opened and a blue femme came in.

"You're in the wrong side." Ironhide told her.

"Calm down, my spark-mate, no one saw me, anyway. And I wanna play in the wash with you." She was flirting with him, and he smiled.

Chromia triggered the water flow. Hot water blasted down and made the room humid.

Ironhide growled. She tossed a brush to him and took one of her own. "Come on; it's fun to wash." She said, going over to him and shouldering him under the water. She began to clean his side.

"Who told you?" he asked, starting to scrub himself. Reeses Pieces* melted away, and Ironhide twisted the brush to dislodge the foil and paper wrappers.

"Elita told me. Said you were in a bit of _a sticky situation_ and might need my help."

Ironhide smiled despite his difficulties. "I suppose Prime put her up to it." He muttered, tugging out another plastic bag.

"Mmmaybe. Maybe not. She just sort of alerted me that-"

"Hey! My armor stays on, femme!" Ironhide ordered as his spark-mate started to unlatch the catches on his shoulder armoring.

"Honestly, 'Hide, the brushes only reach so far. We're not going to get all that stuff out if your armor stays on."

He pushed her hand away gently. "Just get most of it out," he answered, "I will attend to the rest; it'll be fine."

"You're sure?"

He nodded. He sat down on a bench to ease the load off his balancing systems and send more energy to other systems. His femme sat down beside him and moved over, closer. He liked having her closer.

"Hey, I thought you said armor stays on, _mech_." Chromia battled down a smile and gave him a stern look.

"Mine." Ironhide replied.

She giggled and swatted his hand away with a scrub-brush. "Work before play."

"Hm…" he struggled to disentangle a plastic package that was sticking in his arm joint, and he grimaced when it came free. "People certainly consume disgusting things."

"Worms crafted from gelatin and sugar? Uh… why… ?"

"I don't know. Although," he pulled her closer to whisper, "Our Energon probably seems just as strange to them."

"Ironhide," she whispered back, "You will receive a strong shock if you try to disengage my leg armor, and in this water, that wouldn't feel too good."

"I knew I didn't like this H2O element…" He slipped his fingers back.

"It's not the water's fault." She said, scooting away a little. "Blame it on the Decepticons; we femmes have extra protection, just in case any Decepti-creeps get their claws on us and want to try anything."

"Another reason to annihilate them…" Ironhide mused.

"Anyway, you're armor needs to come off so-"

"No."

"Iron-hi-ide… honestly! All these little foreign objects aren't safe!" she got up to argue with him.

"Going about without armor is even less safe." He retorted, rising as well.

"'Hide! You're not going to be 'going about'! We're staying in this wash until you're all clean!" She protested. He was being silly about it.

"I'll rust if I stay in that long!"

"You won't either stay in that long." She planted both fists just belong her waist. Ironhide's focus shifted.

"Yeah… let's go now and take a drive." He suggested.

Chromia huffed in frustration. She really would have loved nothing more than to go on a drive with her spark-mate out somewhere… just the two of them. Or stay here and lose some of her armor. But duty called. Ironhide needed to be thoroughly cleaned. Optimus feared that the candies and their wrappers could cause serious trouble for his friend if they were left. Maybe she wasn't being clear enough to her mech.

She shifted her feet, preparing to speak to him again. She paused as she noticed that she was standing in a foot and a half of water. The drain must have gotten clogged, she realized. It didn't matter, though; Ironhide's well-being was what mattered.

"Listen." She said with new resolve.

"I'm all yours,"

"Listen, the candies and their wrappers could possibly cause you a whole lot of trouble if we don't get them out. Is that clear?"

He nodded. "Yes."

"So," she said, pointing sternly at him.

"Chromia, Chromia, you haven't been listening. I'm not taking off my armor."

That was it. His armor was coming off one way or another. "YARRRRGGGAHHH!" She yelled.

He was a second too slow for her attack. Down, -_SPLASH- _he went, with a femme on top of him, into several feet of standing water.

"NO! GET OFF!" he yelled, thrashing as the water washed over him. "AHHH! I'M IN STANDING **WATER,** CHROMIA-! ARRRRE-SHREEEEE!"


	5. Chapter 5, Scuffle

Yeah, yeah, I know a guy would actually would love to be in Ironhide's place. But, there's more here than meets the eye. Ironhide _**hates**_ water. And he deathly hates being submerged in it.

-It would like a girl being in a cave _full_ of bats, rats and mice, snakes, spiders, and (my personal un-favorite) cockroaches. Get the picture? I doubt any guy is great enough to counteract the dread of all those things combined. ;)

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><p>Chapter 5<p>

**Scuffle**

Optimus was crouching down beside a Jeep, talking with the humans within. It was light talk, "That's good news, sir," he was saying. "I'm glad your little one is doing w…" That's when he heard it. The humans didn't quite hear it, they sensed it rather, but he heard it. It was the yell that Ironhide made when extremely hurt or extremely angry. Something had to be wrong.

"Excuse me," Optimus said to the humans, "I must be-"

::PRIME! HELP!:: Chromia's yell on the intercom did nothing to reassure him.

"-going!" Optimus sprang over the Jeep and landed in truck form. He sped off, leaving the humans agape with awe.

::PROWL!::Optimus Prime shouted for his Second-in-Command over the intercom.

::Prowl here.::

::GET TO THE BATHHOUSE, NOW!::

::Yes, Prime. Prowl out::

Something definitely had to be wrong with Ironhide... especially since Elita had sent Chromia in to cheer up the poor mech. Chromia's presence made Ironhide immune to any discomfort. Or so it seemed.

Optimus Prime came up to the bathhouse too fast to really stop: he slide and rolled his alt-mode, and came up in bipedal form.

Prowl arrived a second later. "Problem?" he asked, clicking off his lights and transforming.

"Ironhide yelled like a Con was tearing out his inner workings," Optimus replied, pushing the door open quickly but cautiously. "Chromia's in here, too, so be careful.

The bathhouse floor was covered with water, and Ironhide was lying on his back in the water, kicking and thrashing, and trying to get Chromia off his chest.

No wonder he had yelled so; not even Chromia could make things better if the mech was lying in water.

"GET OFF, CRAZY FEMME!" Ironhide roared.

"'Crazy femme' is right." Optimus muttered, "She spark-bonded with a crazy mech of her own free will."

Prowl twitched his door wings once in mild disconcertion.

Optimus hesitated at the doorway. What on earth would he do with the couple? Ironhide roared again.

"The drain is clogged." Prowl noted, "The plastic, paper, foil, and cellophane candy-wrappings have clogged the drainage system; perhaps they should be removed."

"It definitely is clogged," Optimus replied, thoughtfully, "But, soaking will help dissolve the sugars, so let's not unclog it. We do need to break up this wrestling match, though, before something bad happens…"

He waded into the water, candy wrappers and goo floating all around his legs.

"Do you have a plan?" Prowl called from the doorway. He hated getting grimy.

"Plan?" Optimus paused. "We'll get Ironhide to lie still first, and then we talk." He resumed wading towards Ironhide.

"In other words, not really." Prowl sighed and eased one foot into the water. "I should have asked battle tactics." He grimaced as he put the other foot in and tried to avoid a plastic bag.

"Ironhide!" Optimus meant to get the mech's attention, but he didn't. Chromia, on the other hand, spared him one glance as she hit Ironhide's grasping hand away from her shoulder.

Optimus grabbed Ironhide's ankle to keep from being kicked. "IRONHIDE!" he barked.

"Prime! GET THIS CRAZY FEMME OFF ME!"

"Not a chance, Optimus!" Chromia hollered, "I'm going to- ARR!" She grabbed Ironhide's wrist, finally, and pinned it down. Reaching across, she intended to access his shoulder armor and get it off.

Ironhide clamped his teeth down on her wrist and didn't let off; it wasn't hard enough to hurt her, but just enough to immobilize her efforts.

"Let go!" she snarled, digging an armored foot into 'Hide's side. He only bit a little harder instead of yelling.

Optimus knew he'd get kicked down if he let go of Ironhide's foot… "Chromia! Cease and desist!" he ordered.

"I'm not giving up!"

"Cease and desist! That's an order! Trust me and get off!" he ordered. "IRONHIDE, NO-!" he yelled as he saw Ironhide slip his fingers under Chromia's leg armor.

_***ZAP***_

Optimus found himself lying face up in water. The electric shock still stung. Involuntarily, Optimus shut off his sensors for three seconds, after that he forced himself to get up and look around. Chromia was sitting in the water, looking furious, and Ironhide was getting to his feet.

"That was low." Chromia told Ironhide through her teeth.

"It was battle tactics." He replied leaning down a little. "Are you alright?" He offered her his hand.

She slapped his hand away then looked miffed as she fished in the water and pulled out a scrub brush.

"Oh… Oh, I get it." Ironhide nodded.

A moan came from the doorway. Optimus, Ironhide, and the angry femme looked over. Prowl was picking himself up. He shook himself and looked at Prime. "What happened?" The slightly flat edge to his voice wouldn't have been perceived by a human, but the Bots heard it. And they knew that Prowl, for all his calm, was deeply perturbed.

Prowl stood up and twitched his door-wings as if to make sure they weren't damaged. They were fine.

Chromia smiled acidly. "Ironhide," she said, "Went and triggered my armor defense, using the conductivity of the water to carry the electric current to me, thereby distracting me, and thus providing himself a means of escape."

Ironhide tromped over to Prowl and plucked a Milkyway* bag off one of his beloved door-wings. He scanned the plastic bag briefly then tossed it back to Prowl. Prowl caught it automatically with a look of disconcertion.

"Ironhide," Optimus said, "Please explain why…" he glanced over at Chromia. Did he really want to know?

"Please explain your most recent actions and the cause for them." Prowl said.

Ironhide grimaced.

Then the bathhouse door banged open, and Elita splashed in, both of her stun-guns charged and ready to fire. She looked around braced for attack then lowered the weapons as she recognized the four Autobots, who were standing, calmly enough, and gazing at her with surprise.

"I heard Ironhide yell. Is everything all right?" She asked. "Errr…" she looked down at the water and the debris floating in it. She pulled one foot out.

"For the time being everything is alright, yes." Optimus answered, "Ironhide was just about to explain why he and Chromia were wrestling in the bathhouse."

Elita raised her optic ridges. Then she folded her weaponed arms across her chest as she leaned against the wall. Some had to wrong with those two, and she wasn't going anywhere until she what is was or until she was sure that they would be fine.


	6. Chapter 6, Story

Sorrrrrry for the delay in updating! Yeah, believe it or not, college must come before FanFic. OH, but I'm out of school by the time TF3 comes out! Squeeeeeeeeeeal! I can hardly wait! XD

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><p>Chapter 6<p>

**Story**

Ironhide knew he was trapped. Optimus, Chromia, Elita, and Prowl… all were practically unstoppable, with the exception of Prowl, who could get over-confused by highly unexpected or illogical things. Perhaps…

Optimus stepped between him and Prowl. "Don't even try it." he commanded. Although his battle mask was still up, Ironhide suspected that Optimus might have been smiling, at least, just a tiny bit. His leader knew him well.

::Don't target Prowl. Please, don't target Prowl:: Optimus sent over the comm. to him then said aloud, "Just explain what's going on."

Five minutes passed and the only sound that the 'Bots heard was the dripping of the faucet. The water on the floor became absolutely still, except for the little ripples made by the leaky faucet. Then Chromia spoke up. "I'll tell my side of the story, if you like."

Ironhide shuttered his optics. No… "No…" he said aloud, unshuttering them. He shifted in preparation to speak. It was a delaying tactic. He really didn't want to say this. "You all know about the Decepticon attack I was at two weeks ago?"

The others nodded. Optimus had been there, and Prowl had received several very detailed reports. The femmes had only heard it second hand.

"What about it?" Chromia asked, looking suspicious. Two 'Bots didn't spend centuries together and not learn a few things about each other and their ways. She had an inkling of an idea.

"I didn't tell you, Chromia, because I didn't want to upset you,"

Chromia rose and face her mech. "And I'm not upset now!" she asked, her ire rising.

"I am sorry, my spark. I just didn't want to see the anger in your optics or sense the pain over our bond." He said with a sigh. "Starscream managed to get his knife-claws under my shoulder armor."

"AIIGH! THAT-! That… that Decepti-creep! I'm gonna-!"

"Calm down, calm down, please." Optimus said, putting a gentle hand on the enraged femme's shoulder. "The damage looks bad, and it pains him from time to time, but it will heal."

"How could you let him?" she demanded of Ironhide.

"I was fending off Skywarp and trying to not get blasted to oblivion by Thundercracker! Starscream dove down and knocked me to the ground, clawing and all then."

Her hydraulics hissed as she crossed her arms. "That Seeker is mine when we get him."

"That Seeker will be justly tried when we get him." Prowl told her.

"Oh, I know that, Prowl." She said, softening. "It just makes me furious when he and his trine all gang up on one Autobot and tear him up. Revenge is hollow, and Decepticonish, I know that; I only speak of it to vent my anger. In my spark, I do wait for balanced justice."

"We all do," Optimus said gently.

"Yeah." Ironhide ground out. "I just hope I can kick their tails before justice is dispensed."

"Here, here." Elita said, and Chromia nodded.


	7. Chapter 7, Stuck

Rule 146 belongs the Hummergrey. :)

Sorry for the delays, again! I'm almost done with this crazy summer class, though. :)

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><p>Chapter 7<p>

**Stuck **

Prowl scanned his fellows lightly then settled his door-wings before looking up at Optimus. "It appears that the crisis is over," he said, "May I be excused?"

"You might want to wash up, first," Optimus advised, pointing.

Prowl's door-wings twitched up before fanning down in distress. Some of the candy wrappers that had been floating had gotten caught on his armoring when the electric burst had knocked him in the water.

"Aw… poor Prowlie…" Chromia cooed.

"Rule 146." Prowl reminded her. "'_Do not show disrespect to a command officer through the use of nicknames, especially when said mech or femme has stated their disapproval of said nickname_…' Need I say more?"

"Nope. Sorry, Prowl." Chromia said. "I meant it to show sympathy, though."

"None felt." Prowl replied.

"Poor Prowl," she tried again.

"Nevermind." Prowl said as he moved to find a brush or something to dislodge the debris.

Optimus looked around. Everything was relatively peaceful and under control. "Will everything be alright if I go now?"

"You might want to wash up, first," Prowl advised, pointing while hiding a vengeful look.

"Ack!" Optimus exclaimed.

Elita shook her head. "Oops. It looks like you picked up some plastic and goo, too."

"Let's unclog this drain." Optimus muttered, getting down on his knees and feeling for the grill over the drain.

"Actually, it would be impossible for one of us to do that." Prowl stated. "There is a heavy-duty grill over the drain, created to withstand the largest mech's weight. Most of the debris can go through it; what is clogged is the smaller, less sturdy grill beneath it.

"Then why did you suggest unclogging it when we first came in?" Optimus asked, shaking his arm but not taking his hand out of the water. He was starting to fee distressed.

"I did not know about the set up then." Prowl replied.

Elita shrugged and picked up a scrub-brush. "We'll just wash until the water reaches the edge on the door, and then stop, letting it go down before sending maintenance in."

"Good idea," Optimus grunted, still down. He suddenly felt that he was in quite a predicament … And Prowl and Ironhide were present, too. The femmes, he couldn't even think about. How…?

"Optimus," Elita had come to stand over him. "Are you gonna get up so I can help you wash?"

"That sounds great," the Autobot leader said, looking a little sheepish.

"What…?" his femme knew something was up now.

"Well…" Now his officers and Chromia were looking at him curiously. "Um… my finger is stuck." He admitted. Elita tucked her head down hard to keep from laughing.

Prowl fell forward, landing with a loud _splash_.

"Oops…"

"I guess that was too much for his logic center to handle." Chromia said as Ironhide fished the Second-in-Command out of the water.

"Apparently." Ironhide laid the unfortunate officer on a bench.

"This place is becoming a regular hazard zone." Elita observed, "Optimus, do you have any ideas?"

"I have all sorts of ideas." Optimus said grimly, "But none that will help me at present."

Elita knelt down beside him and put her hands down into the water as well.

"Watch your fingers," Optimus warned,

"Mine are smaller than yours," she replied, smiling back at him. "…Oh… this is tight." She pulled her hands back and set them on her hips, stumped on how to solve her spark-mate's problem.

"My finger got in, but it won't come out…" Optimus murmured, confused, "How it that?"

"We could break the drain-cover," Ironhide suggested.

"And then we'd have to explain how and why it got broken." Optimus informed him. "That… that would be a little embarrassing for all of us." He tried wiggling his finger a little more. "And it would be agonizing for Prowl to read."

Ironhide chuckled unsympathetically. Chromia pinch a sensitive circuit in his side, hard. "Be nice to Prowl."

"Ouch! Be nice to me," he complained a little.

"I'm still mad at you for concealing that Starscream wounded you." She retorted.

"I tell you everything next time. Okay?"

"There won't be a next time. I'm going to weld your alt-mode to the foot of our recharge berth, and use the truck-bed for catch-bin; you won't be going anywhere."

Elita shook her head. "Knowing that you put spare guns parts in your usual catch-bin, I doubt that he'll find that much punishment." She remarked.

"Oh, yeah." Chromia huffed in exasperation. "Fine. I'll have Ultra Magnus kick his tail and order Red Alert to lock him in the brig."

"Oh, we'll see about that." Ironhide said, wishing he'd never gotten into this mess.


	8. Chapter 8, Slipping Out

Chapter 8

**Slipping Out**

"Oh…" Prowl groaned, coming to once again. "Uhngh." he pushed himself up into a sitting position and looked around.

"I'm still stuck," Optimus announced cheerfully.

"I have a meeting in twenty minutes that I must prepare for." Prowl replied, "I must wash and leave. And Prime has a meeting in two hours, twenty minutes."

"I forgot about that…!" Optimus gasped. He wiggled his finger more. He could feel the paint being scratched off as he did so. 'Ow! Note to self: never do THIS again!'

Elita gave Optimus a comforting rub on the shoulder. "How's your mech doing, Chromia?" she asked.

"I'm not talking to him." Chromia replied stonily, tucking her chin in a stubborn motion.

"Just scrubbing him?"

"Yes," she replied.

"Is he coming clean?"

"Ah…" that was an ambiguous question. Chromia hesitated.

Elita waited, hoping.

"Chromia…?" Ironhide ventured softly.

"Well, the sucrose, glucose, and glucose are coming off, but the plastic wrappers are being difficult." Chromia answered Elita.

"Chromia, please don't be mad… light-of-my-spark," Ironhide coaxed.

She hesitated, always vulnerable to his sweet-talking. He went on, more softly, "Your pleasure is mine order… my spark is yours to command." He said, "Life is misery without your favor, restore it, I ask…? Pray you not add to my sufferings...?" he leaned closer to his spark-mate with lowered head. Chromia paused only a second before slipping her arms around him and putting her face against his shoulder.

"How's your mech now?" Elita asked, her optics twinkling as she already knew the answer.

"Good…" Chromia murmured. She leaned back and smiled at Ironhide. Then they both got back to work on cleaning him.

"I have encountered a problem," Prowl's tone was stiff with reluctance. All the 'Bots looked to him expectantly. "If I descend from this bench, I will get contaminated again."

"Prowl is stuck." Optimus said, "I am stuck. Are you stuck, Ironhide?"

"No, Optimus." Ironhide's voice was deep with a chuckle.

"This day is shaping up badly." Prowl said in an undertone as Ironhide came over to him. "Do not touch my door-wings." He ordered.

"Calm down, Prowl." Ironhide said, trying to sooth the poor Second-in-Command. He knew the hard-working officer had been through more than enough for a while. "I won't touch your door-wings. Just sit down and hold on."

Prowl regarded the weapons specialist with suspicion and doubt, but he did as he was directed. Then Ironhide dragged the bench out of place and over to the door.

"Thank-you." Prowl said. He hesitated for a second, measuring the distance, then got down from the bench and walked off to get a towel.

"I bent the drain-cover a little, but I got my finger free." Optimus said, holding up the scratched digit.

Elita express concern for his finger, but he assured her it was alright. She knew it was fine, but that didn't stop her from taking his hand in hers to examine it.

Once the bench was back in place, Ironhide went back to Chromia. He paused, considering, then he removed his shoulder armoring and the connecting chest plating.

Chromia stared in grief for a moment. "Oh, Ironhide…" she put her hand over the wound, "I'm sorry…" she whispered.

"It's okay," Ironhide murmured.

The two Autobot pairs worked quietly, Elita helping Optimus, and Chromia tending gently to her beloved warrior.

Then the wash door opened and some-bot come in.

"'_Cry me a river…'_" Bumblebee announced, wading in, "'The national weather service has issued a flood warning for the following counties…'" he pointed to the doorway. The water was flowing over smoothly.

"I guess that means we're finished in here until the flood-waters go down." Ironhide quipped, smiling at the little scout.

[The drain is clogged?] Bumblebee signed.

Ironhide nodded.

[Can you not unclog it?] 'Bee asked, looking towards the drain.

"Nope. Optimus already tried." Ironhide received a stern look from Optimus.

"'_Oh…'_" Bumblebee raised an optic-ridge and then left.

Optimus was fairly free of candy wrappers and junk-food, happily. He and Elita could go. Ironhide knew he should stay and soak in the flooded wash for a little while to dissolve some more of the sugars, and he knew Chromia would stay with him.

"Comm. me if you need me further," Optimus advised as he and Elita left.

"I will, but I won't need to." Ironhide replied, smiling down at Chromia. He knew he was in good hands.

Alone now, Ironhide took Chromia in his arms and kissed her tenderly.

"I'm sorry I was difficult for you," he whispered, meeting her optics.

"Shh…" she placed her fingers over his lips. "You had a good reason, MyLove. And I don't blame you."

He kissed her fingers then took her hand. He paused. "We should wash some more."

She nodded.

They washed some more, and they managed to get a vast amount of the candies and their respective wrappers out of Ironhide's working by the time the "flood" went down. Cleaning up the remaining debris first, they called in maintenance then left quickly and surreptitiously.


	9. Chapter 9, Skeptical

Ta-da! Update on this story! And sorry for such ssssllloooowwwwwnnnneesssss on updating it! :( I've got a full load of college, plus another fic that I'm actively writing. Ordinarily I would be updating that other fic tonight, but it's chapter isn't finished. I really wanted to post something, though, and this was short and mostly done. So I finished this chapter, and here yous go! :)

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><p>Chapter 9<p>

**Skeptical **

"I cannot believe this." Ratchet said, to Ironhide, looking down at the report in his hands. Ironhide had gotten into awkward predicaments in the past, but never had Ratchet seen anything like this before.

"I'm not asking you to believe it; I'm asking you to remove it." Ironhide retorted. It was early the next morning the after the candy incident, and he was feeling a little cross about the whole incident and his defensive systems were slightly aggravated by the foreign substances in his workings. "We got most of it out." He grumbled, "Just… this kind wouldn't dissolve."

"Hmm…" Ratchet motioned Ironhide over to a berth. "Sit; let me scan you."

Ironhide did as requested, although he wasn't altogether happy with it.

Ratchet snorted when the scan came back. "Hah! No wonder is wouldn't dissolve. It's called bubblegum."

"That's strange. –stranger then gummy-worms." Ironhide said the word with distaste as he shuddered.

The medic did a quick internet search grimaced. It was weird to him. "Apparently people chew gum for hours and hours, and it never dissolves."

"_WHAT?_ Ick. Why? Nevermind. I don't want to know."

"And apparently it doesn't have any significant nutritional value…"

"Arg!" Ironhide wasn't interested in any of that. "I don't care about its properties! Just get it out and off!"

Ratchet crossed his arms. "How am I supposed to do _that_?"

"You're the doctor; you should know. You've extracted everything else that's needed to be extracted."

Ratchet huffed.

Five minutes later, Ratchet was grinding his jaw gears and scowling. And Ironhide was beginning to look doubtful. The gum was not coming off at all. And Ratchet's attempts the scrape it off and only resulted in his tools getting covered with gum.

"It's too sticky. And it's too elastic." Ratchet muttered.

"Greetings!" Will Lennox called, coming in. "We were starting to miss you, Ironhide. Is everything alright?"

"Ah… no. Funny you should ask!" Ironhide answered snarkily. "Your lovely orders to switch off my cab sensors resulted in me transforming with an unhealthy amount of candy in my cab!"

Will rubbed his head, a repressed smile twisting his lips before breaking into chuckles.

"WILL!" Ironhide yelped. "Chromia and I spent hours yesterday cleaning that nasty stuff out of my workings! And there is still some stuck in me today that won't come off."

"I… I'm sorry, Ironhide. Really I am,"

"Then why are you still laughing?" the Weapons Specialist asked reproachfully, tucking his head. Bumblebee wasn't the only one who could look pitiful.

Will stopped laughing. "I am sorry about it, big fella." He said sincerely. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Sure. Get the bubblegum out of my gears and joints, and I'll be happy."

"O-oh…" his eyes widened knowingly. "Bubblegum. That's a tricky one, but it's got lots and lots of solutions."

"Really?" Ratchet asked. He was ready for any help at the point. He put aside a gummed up tool and turned all his attention to the human.

Will nodded. "The trick is to make it not so sticky any more. If you freeze gum, it gets hard, and then you can break it out."

Ironhide scowled. "You'd have to freeze me in order to do that. And we are not freezing me."

"Well, another option, -don't tell Sarah because I've done this before-, is to melt some chocolate and rub it into the gum,"

"We spent hours getting chocolate out!" Ironhide protested. "We're not putting it in again."

"Why should we not tell Sarah?" Ratchet asked, a perplexed frown on his face.

"Chocolate is practically sacred to women." The man shrugged as he answered. The two mechs looked concerned.

"'_Sacred_?'" Ratchet asked. If it was sacred, they should not do anything that would desecrate an object of human worship.

"Okay. Maybe sacred isn't exactly the right word. But they take it seriously. And using it for a common cleaning supply is just wrong in their book." Will explained.

The Cybertronians were still perplexed. "Why?" Ironhide asked.

The man shook his head. "They just like to eat it… I don't really know why exactly."

"Oh. Well, I'm not submitting to being rubbed in chocolate, anyway."

Will smirked at the thought. "I'm just offering suggestions. Peanut-butter works, too."

"What else?" Ratchet asked, picturing himself with peanut-butter stuck to his hands _and_ tools.

"Warm vinegar."

"What's that?" Ironhide asked.

Ratchet quickly looked it up. Then he smiled grimly.

"I'll order a couple pallets of vinegar." He said, moving towards his computer. "Thank-you, Lennox. I hope it works."

"Me too." The man said. He was serious, but he was also smiling. If Ironhide didn't like water, he was going to hate vinegar.

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><p>LOL, poor mech. :) Chromia will be back in the next chapter... :) He'll be a little happier.<p>

Review!

And check out my deviantART account if you haven't already. :) It's all Transformers stuff. XD

http:/ cairistona. deviantart. com/


	10. Chapter 10, Sure

Update here! :)

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><p>Chapter 10<p>

**Sure**

Chromia stretched out beside Ironhide on their berth in the private quarters and cuddled against him. It was evening, and they would be recharging soon.

"What's wrong, my warrior?" she asked softly, sensing his mood. Usually she could feel him relaxing, but tonight it was different; he was remaining tense.

"I researched vinegar…" he said softly with a groan. "It's even worse than water." He lamented, "And it's acidic. I hate acidic stuffs."

"My poor mech," Chromia rubbed her hand on his arm gently. "It should do the trick, though. Then all the nasty, sticky stuff will be gone." She didn't envy him a bit. In fact, she knew she'd make an even worse fuss than he would if she was ever in his present situation.

He sighed.

"Come on, now. Cheer up." Chromia told him. "I think you will be needing a good rub down with oil once the vinegar has done its work, and you like a good rub down."

"Bribes? Chromia…Bribes? Am I a sparkling to be bribed like so?" she was drawing him out of his dark mood, and his optics twinkled a little bit as he smiled at his mate.

She gave him a stern look. "If you were a sparkling I would just have to bribe you with toys, not service. And I could pin you down and make you take your medicine. Or spank you for refusing. Brat!"

He chuckled, loving how her optics snapped when she called him names. "Alright, alright. I will attempt to be good for the medic."

"Attempt?"

"That's as much as I dare to promise... as far as Ratchet and vinegar go."

"I guess I'll have to beat it out of you." Chromia said, getting up and standing on the floor with her hands on her hips. Ironhide chuckled and sat up. He knew she was playing. He watched her, waiting for her to make a make a move so he could make his.

She walked over to his side of the berth. "You're in trouble, mech." She said, leaning forward just a little. She was just out of reach, and she knew that she was tantalizing him.

"But, you can't get me," He teased, scooting away just enough to make her come after him. Taking the bait, she darted forward to give him a play swat. He turned back and caught her before she could touch him. "Now who's in trouble, femme?" He asked, holding her close.

"You are." She said sweetly then kissed his jaw.

"No, you are. You can't get out of trouble as easily as that."

She chuckled because there was absolutely no logic to that statement.

"Irreverent brat." Ironhide said fondly, "Laughing at your elders. You're in for it now."

She kissed him on the mouth. "Threats?" she asked, still close.

"Warnings,"

She chuckled again, delighted with the way he always cocked an optic-ridge when he said 'warnings.'

"I warned you," he whispered then pulled her over his lap and gave her a love-tap.

When he let her go, she sat up and gave him a mock pout as she rubbed her rump. He would never hurt her, but it was fun to tease him about it.

Ironhide smiled as he watched her. It really was the most wonderful thing that she was his. She was his, and he was hers… it always seemed like a miracle that he had found the most wonderful femme in the universe and that she was happy to be with him and spend her entire life with him.

She saw that he was finished playing by the soft look on his face, and she could feel it in her spark, too, feel the warmth and peace. She scooted over. "Tired now?" she asked softly.

"A bit." He said; then he nodded as he realized that he was quite tired.

Chromia put her arms around his neck. "Good-night, then. Recharge well, my beloved of all bots."

"As long as you are with me, I will." Ironhide told her, still holding her as he lay down. They snuggled close and let recharge come.

OooOOoOoOOooO

In the morning, the logistics department called Ironhide and requested a small service. He told them him would help them. He was always ready to help out the human allies, and if he happened to get so busy that he missed an appointment with Ratchet, so be it.

He downed his morning Energon and headed for the door quietly. Chromia had better not find out that he was running off. It was rather hard for a five ton bot to be very quiet in a silent room.

"Ironhide…!"

He stopped and went back to where Chromia was just coming out of recharge. "Yes, my love?"

"Where are you sneaking away to?" she asked, rising and slipping her arms around his neck.

"Logistics needs a small favor from me. I'll be back, though."

"Okay." She kissed him and let him go, and he headed to the logistics center.

It was a nice morning for a drive; it wasn't hot yet, and the people were just starting to move around.

"Mornin', Ironhide!" Someone called from a tank.

"Good morning!" he called back.

He reached the logistics center and pulled up to the loading dock.

"Luke!" he called, "What do you mean calling me in to deliver things? I'm a Con-fighting Battle-bot, not a messenger-bot!"

Luke came over with grin, knowing that the big bot was teasing. "It's just one pallet," the burly man said, "Kinda small to haul with the delivery truck, but it's going too far to move with the loader."

"Well, as long as it's not hazardous." Ironhide said, backing up to the loading dock.

"Nope. It's just a couple barrels of vinegar going to Ratchet." Luke said easily, motioning the loader over. "What Ratchet wants with vinegar, I'll never guess. I'm thinking it could be a prank from the twins, but I'm not going to raise questions about small deliveries."

'VINEGAR!' Ironhide thought. He was badly surprised. He was going to have to take the vinegar to Ratchet himself. There would be absolutely no getting away now.

He groaned when the loader lowered the pallet into his truck-bed.

"Thanks, 'Hide." Luke said, patting the truck's fender.

"Sure." Ironhide said, starting to pull away. Once out of earshot, he muttered, "Thanks nothing. I'm bringing the knife to my own execution."

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><p>There you go, folks! I'm looking forward to winter break! ~More time to write fic, you know ;)<p>

I do love reviews, and they stimulate further writing! *hint, hint* Let me know what you like.


	11. Chapter 11, Scram

Update here! :) And it's a sooner update, too, for Autobot Alythia! ;) Told you reviews helped! And the line "_worse than that vermin Sam calls Mojo,"_ is per request of supergirlprime. :)

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><p>Chapter 11<p>

**Scram!**

"_Thanks nothing. I'm bringing the knife to my own execution_." The words echoed around in Ironhide's thoughts as he drove along the route to Med-Bay. He really, really didn't want to go to Med-Bay. He was going to torture...

If only there was some way he could delay the torture… The tactical part of his mind went to work.

He had to mind the speed limit. There were strict speed limit laws around here. It would not do at all if he was caught speeding and got fined and/or brigged by Prowl. Yeah…

He grinned inwardly and slowed down from the set forty MPH, down to thirty. If he'd been walking, he would have been dragging his feet. He poked along. And he let others have the right-of-way more often than he usually did. This slowed him down considerably. He'd never realized how much time it took to be so polite! Well, it was to his advantage this time. The Weapons Master was quite pleased with himself for a while.

Then he hit the long stretch of straight road. Now he had a straight shot. Not cool, as the humans put it.

'_I'm going to be subjected to being washed with vinegar_.' He thought dismally as he started on the long stretch, '_It's going to be acidic. It's going to stink. It's going to be nasty. It's… going to be worse than that vermin Sam calls _Mojo_. I'm going to be miserable…_'

A bright flash up color whizzed up behind him. '_Uh-oh..._'

"Hiya, Ironhide!" Sunny greeted him cheerfully, pulling up on the black truck's left. He was driving on the other side of the double yellow line.

"Hi." Ironhide regarded him with internal suspicion. The twins couldn't be trusted unless they were on the battlefield fighting Cons. And they especially couldn't be trusted when they were overly cheerful this early in the morning.

"So, what's up?" Sideswipe asked, pulling up on Ironhide's right. "Errand for Logistics." Ironhide replied. He now knew what the twins were up to. They were going to harass him. And they could do it and get away with it because he couldn't transform while carrying a load, and they could accelerate much faster than he could any day of the year.

"That's rather nice of you, Ironhide." Sunny said congenially.

"Thanks." Ironhide said though he was well-aware that there was something more to Sunny's praise than he could see as of yet. 'Beware of twins bearing gifts.' He'd probably find out soon enough.

"Actually, I'd say it was pretty _sweet_. Wouldn't you, Sides?" Ah, so that's what they were up to. They were going to bring up the candy incident, or at least reference it.

"Indeed, Sunny! It's very sweet of him!" Sides replied.

Ironhide wasn't sure whether to be scornfully amused at their juvenile jesting, or irritated by the reference to his accident.

"Or… you know," Sunny continued, "It might not be that he's that sweet."

"No, what do you mean?" Sides asked. It was sounding a little scripted to Ironhide, as if they practiced a bit before showing up.

"It could be that he's just a _sucker_ and got tricked into this errand."

Now, Ironhide could put up with being called 'sweet,' but nobody was going to call him a sucker and get away with it! He was one of Prime's best, and he'd outwitted many a Con. No, sir, they weren't going to get away with that last insult.

He paused that line of thought. They were doing this to get a reaction from him. If he gave into the will to react, then he _would_ be a "sucker."

He would ignore them. That would disappoint them and show them that he could tolerate them coolly. And perhaps they would get bored and go away.

"Aww, that's not really fair, Sunny! Maybe he _mint_ to be nice."

"_Mint_? Like… I don't know, Mint Chocolate Chip? Or peppermint?"

"Yeah." Sides said.

'_Seriously?_' Ironhide though with disgust. '_These twins are off their processors.'_

"York's Peppermint Patties, hmm." Sunny seemed to muse. "I've heard girls like them."

"Really?" Sides pretended to be amazed. "Have you heard that, too, Ironhide?"

"I've heard nothing on the subject." Ironhide said, managing to keep a neutral tone while he formed a mental image of himself grabbing the twins and stuffing them both into the back of an ice-cream delivery truck then rolling the whole thing down a steep hill.

"Wow!" Sunny marveled, "You should get out more."

The twins were starting to grate even more now. Ironhide calculated the distance to Med-Bay, as well as the time. It was too long to put up with the twins without getting mad.

Sunny was snickering now at something Sides had said.

Ironhide considered veering to the left a little and grazing the vain sportscar's side. He wouldn't hurt the smaller Bot physically; he'd just leave an ugly black mark on Sunny's bright, perfectly polished, yellow paint-job.

He smirked inwardly at the thought. Sunny would flinch and scream and become completely upset. But, Ironhide knew he wouldn't do it. It wasn't an officer-like thing to do. And it would be reacting to their childish taunting. And he would be vulnerable to severe retaliation as long as he was in truck mode.

He needed some relief though! This was going to be a bad day, anyway, without them being aggravations. Frustration bubbled up within the tough, old truck. It seemed like he gave his all continuously, and now all he had was candy stuck in his workings and two younglings poking fun at him.

"YAAAAOOWWWW!" Sunny screamed, swerving into Ironhide. Ironhide jerked into Sides accidentally before halting. "PROWL!" Sunny howled as he stopped.

Aparently Prowl had decided to show up.

The twins transformed, as did Prowl. Ironhide stayed in truck-mode with the pallet of barrels still in his truck-bed. Prowl looked over the three bots coolly.

"You- you- you scratched my paint!" Sunny burst out at Prowl.

Prowl eyed the dark streaks disinterestedly, "My bad." He said. The phrase sounded pretty odd coming from Prowl.

"And- and you made me run into Ironhide and get scratched from him, too!" Sunny turned so Prowl could view the damage and (hopefully) feel some sort of remorse. Ironhide inwardly beamed with joy; it was a dreadful black graze-mark.

"Oops." Prowl said flatly. Some bots could say "oops" and sound like they meant it. Prowl wasn't one of those bots.

"And you made Ironhide scratch up Sides!" Sunny wailed, motioning frantically to his (much to be pitied) brother.

"Aw." Prowl said. There was no way in a thousand years that he could have made that sound convincing either.

"YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!" Sunny howled as if in emotional pain, "How could you do that to me? We were always such good friends!"

"Oh." Prowl was unmoved.

"Remember University? Remember how I covered for you in that prank we pulled on Professor Axelbender? Remember how I helped you steal that femme back from Hot-Rod? Remember that… uh… uh… that…" Sunny couldn't even remember it. "I always stood up for you! I supported you!"

"In that case," Prowl said, "May I assume you will support me now in my decision to ticket you for driving on the wrong side of the road and your brother for impeding traffic by going at an excessively slow rate?"

"EH… uh… I'm hurt! Outraged!"

"Apparently." Prowl began filling out the ticket. Sunny spluttered. Prowl completed the tickets. "Give me your data-pads."

They handed their data-pads over in silence. Prowl transferred the ticket files over to the data-pads then handed them back. "I suggest you attend to it quickly; it expires quite soon."

"ONE HOUR!" Sides yelped, staring at his.

"What, are you crazy?" Sunny protested.

"Do I hear insubordination?" Prowl asked threateningly. He could make things a whole lot worse for the twins if need be.

The twins hesitated.

"Scram."

The twins ran away.

Ironhide sighed. Now he had two less problems to deal with. "Thank-you, Prowl." He said softly, knowing Prowl didn't like to be thanked, and knowing that Prowl had intentionally been rough on the twins on his behalf but wouldn't want recognition for it.

Prowl dipped his head in a nod. "They were being jerks." His tone was quiet. He usually didn't express his opinion of lawbreakers very often, but he wanted Ironhide to know that he felt for him.

"You can say that again." Ironhide said dismally.

Prowl paused, cocking his head to look at Ironhide's side. Ironhide hesitated; now what was Prowl up to? Prowl went over and looked at Ironhide's other side.

"You may want to touch up your paint when you have a chance." He advised. "You have yellow marks on one side, and red on the other."

Ironhide chuckled. That was pretty appealing.

"Where's Hot-Rod? I think I'll just rear-end him, so I'll have orange in the middle." He joked.

Prowl eyed him skeptically.

"Red and yellow make orange." He explained when Prowl didn't respond after a moment of consideration.

"I know that." Prowl said. He still didn't see what was funny about it. He had enough traffic violations to deal with as it was.

"Nevermind, Prowlcar." Ironhide said. "I won't rear-end Hot-Rod. I'll leave you to your work and get to mine."

"Good day." Prowl said, nodding once before leaving.

"Very small sense of humor…" Ironhide muttered as he left. But, he was extremely grateful to Prowl for rescuing him from the twins. Now he just needed someone to rescue him from Ratchet.


	12. Chapter 12, Scheme

Sooner update for you folks! :D Enjoy! ~And good luck to all those with final exams and such!

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><p>Chapter 12<p>

**Scheme**

Chromia waited until Ironhide had left before she sprang into action. Once the door was closed and his footfalls had faded away, she pulled out her heavier armoring and began fitting it over her preliminary armoring.

::Ratchet:: she hailed the medic on the intercom.

::Here. What's going on?:: Ratchet replied expectantly.

::Ironhide just headed out to pick up the delivery. I'm thinking he will drive pretty slowly once he figures out what his cargo is, but I wouldn't waste any time in getting ready.:: she reported.

::Alright… How soon can you be over here?::

::Heheh. I _could_ be over in five minutes, but Prowl would ticket and brig me for speeding, so I'll be over in ten.::

::Good femme. …I think. I'll be ready and waiting. Ratchet out.::

Chromia closed her end of the comm. and drained an Energon cube in a very un-femme-ly manner and then headed out the door.

She made fairly quick work of the drive and soon pulled up to Med-Bay. Once at the door, she stopped to transform before entering. Then she sauntered in, watchful and ready for whatever might happen next. She knew sort of what was going to happen, so her battle systems were fully up and anticipatory. Her optics caught Ratchet as well as Prime.

"Hi, Ratch." She greeted, "Hi, Ops. Ready for this? I'm not."

"We will be ready." Ratchet said as Optimus nodded to her. "Come over this way, and I'll show you what we'll be doing…"

The Chief Medical Officer quickly laid out his plans and explained to his two accomplices how the job would be done.

"Sounds like it should work." Chromia said grimly. Ironhide was going to hate them.

"Optimus?" Ratchet asked.

"I think it will." The leader said thoughtfully. "I'm just not sure how amiable he'll be once he finds out what we did."

OxOxOxOxOxOxO

After parting ways with Prowl, Ironhide picked up his pace a little bit. He didn't want to get caught by anymore would-be hecklers. Med-Bay soon came into view, and he slowed down to a crawl. Where were the Decepticons when he needed them? He'd sooner go fight Starscream again… well, almost. Screamer might kill him, Ratchet would only torture him. He shuddered, already imagining the evil-smelling liquid trickling into places it shouldn't go. And he'd promised Chromia that he would attempt to be good for the medic.

He groaned softly. Then he pulled up to the automatic doors at the side of Med-Bay. He glared at them when they opened, but he was obliged to drive in nicely.

"Ah, there you are, 'Hide." Ratchet greeted him as he entered. Ratchet appeared to be all alone in Med-Bay. "I was beginning to think you'd gotten abducted by aliens."

"Heh." Ironhide usually thought that was funny, but it wasn't today.

"What happened to your side?" Ratchet asked suddenly as his optics picked up the bright red streak.

"There's a matching one on the other side." Ironhide said, smirking inwardly as a joke suddenly came to mind. It was irresistible, a once in a year chance. "It's called 'twin-striping.'"

Ratchet snorted in amusement and looked at the other side. "Twin-striping indeed. Ironhide, you're crazy."

"It was Prowl's fault. Prowl grazed Sunny, Sunny grazed me, I grazed Sides."

"Uh… how was this set up?"

"Twins were driving on either side, acting like their processors were made of scrap-metal."

"Ah… I got it." Ratchet shook his head at the un-present twins.

"Yeah."

"Well, I guess I'd better unload this," He moved closer and carefully removed the pallet from Ironhide's truck-bed. "Uhg." He grunted. "Would you help me carry these into the storage room, please?"

Oh, just into the storage room? Did this mean they would be using them? Perhaps Ratchet had completely forgotten.

"Sure." Ironhide said amiably. There was no sense in reminding the medic if he'd forgotten…

"We'll just take a barrel at a time," Ratchet said.

"Getting' lazy, old bot?" Ironhide teased.

"I'm afraid so."

Ironhide chuckled as he opened the pallet and took out one of the four barrels. "Pretty light." He said tossing it from one hand to the other.

"Yeah, well, don't drop it, or it'll be pretty messy." Ratchet replied, picking one up.

Ironhide laughed at his old friend and headed back to the storage room.

Ratchet followed, and he was fairly on Ironhide's heels, very close indeed. He balanced the barrel on one arm and pulled out a strong sedative injector with his free hand as Ironhide neared the doorway of the storage room.

Just before the warrior reached the threshold, Ratchet stabbed the injector in his back.

"**RA-**!" Ironhide's roar was cut off as the sedative took action. Chromia darted forward and grabbed the barrel, and Optimus stepped forward and caught the heavy bot as he fell.

"Oof!" Optimus grunted.

"Nice work." Ratchet said, putting down his barrel.

"Team work." Optimus said, pleased that it had gone so smoothly.

"Yeah… cozy, too." Chromia said from where she was wedged between Ironhide and Optimus.

"Chromia sandwich." Ratchet snickered as Optimus suddenly looked abashed and discomfited.

"I do apologize, Chromia," Optimus said, shifting his hold on the unconscious Ironhide to move the mech away from him so that Chromia could slip out from between them. "Sorry," he said.

"Hey, no problem." Chromia said. "I know you didn't mean anything by it. Heh, besides, I like rubbing paint with Ironhide."

Optimus rubbed the back of his head.

"He'll be sorry he missed." Ratchet muttered with slight annoyance. Then he got stern. "Come on, we need to hurry before that drug wears off."

Optimus crouched and picked Ironhide up then lugged him over to the special berth that Ratchet had rigged. Ratchet had removed the replaceable metal "mattress" part from the berth, just leaving the frame. Then he'd made a tightly strung net of chains and secured it to the frame, creating a structure that would hold a Bot, but would let small things fall through. Then he'd placed container below the berth; this would catch the vinegar once the poured.

Ratchet helped Optimus ease the unconscious warrior onto the berth, then put the restraints on Ironhide's ankles and wrists. Hide was going to be mad when he woke up, but he wasn't going to go anywhere or punch anyone.

Chromia looked away. She didn't like seeing her spark-mate imprisoned. She knew Ratchet was a friend, and that he did it only for Ironhide's well-being, but it still wasn't something she enjoyed.

She glanced back. Ratchet was finished, and he gave her a sympathetic look as he moved away to retrieve the barrels of vinegar.

So it was a little rough, but at least the scheme had worked.

So far, anyway.

Chromia smiled. She knew things never went as planned when Ironhide was involved.

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><p>There yah go! :) I hope to update next week, it may be later in the week because of exams, but that's the plan! ;) Review!<p> 


	13. Chapter 13, Science

Whoop! I'm done with exams! I'm free until the spring semester!

It's a fun little challege coming up with chapter titles that only start with "S"! :D

Okay, onwards to more... stickiness! :)

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><p>Chapter 13<p>

**Science**

"How long do we have until he wakes up?" Chromia asked, eyeing her spark-mate with curious skepticism.

"Erm…" Ratchet faltered. "That I'm not exactly sure about." He grimaced as he started up his scanning computer and clamped it above the berth.

"How is this?" Optimus asked, his optics widening in surprise.

"Yeah?" Chromia chimed in.

"The sedative is a relatively new one that's not been thoroughly tested for efficiency."

"What!" Chromia snapped. She whirled around and speared the medic with a sharp look.

"It's perfectly safe!" Ratchet said hastily as he moved to put the unconscious mech between him and the femme. He had to explain fast. The last thing he needed was Chromia helping Ironhide beat him up when this was over. "It has been tested! –tested extensively-! It is perfectly safe. We just haven't been able to calculate how long it works."

"Hm." Chromia wasn't sure if she was forgiving him yet. Ironhide might have her help in revenge.

The medic went on, "Also, there was a second of time between when he realized that I injected it and when it took effect. He could have very well deployed a defense program against the sedative in that second of time."

"Ah." Chromia was impressed. She would forgive Ratchet. Ironhide could hold his own.

"Yeah." Ratchet wasn't overly pleased about it.

"So, at any moment he could come online?" Optimus checked, eyeing his powerful Weapons Master warily.

"Yes, sir, and he will be roaring mad."

"I suggest we leave it to Chromia to calm him." the Prime said. Decepticons were easy compared to an enraged Ironhide. Cons he could shoot. Ironhide had to be reasoned with.

"Oh, what? You make a mess and I clean it up?" Chromia asked in a contrary tone of voice, deciding it would be a little fun to fool with the mechs and put them on edge.

"You are the most skilled member of this team for soothing Ironhide." Optimus said gently.

Chromia dipped her head in defeat. "I guess I am." She said with a smile. Optimus was a sweet-talker when he wanted to be, and he could get whatever he wanted from almost anybody with just a few words of praise when he did.

Ratchet grunted in exasperation. Ironhide's armoring system had been upgraded since last time he'd been in Med-Bay, and the armor wasn't coming off as easily as it had before.

"It's not rocket science." Chromia said, smirking.

"It might be." Ratchet countered, "He upgraded it after Starscream's attack and now it's virtually impossible to get loose."

"Oh." Chromia had been leaning against Ironhide's berth with her arms crossed, but she moved off and came over to where Ratchet was trying to work. She tried to focus on what they were doing, and not on what Ratchet had said about Starscream.

"Let me try." She said. Ratchet moved over, motioning that she could do as she liked.

"Hmph." He grunted several moments later when Chromia got the armor to release.

"Femmes have magic fingers." Optimus told the medic with a knowing smile.

"Oh, Shut up." Ratchet didn't appreciate Optimus joking around. Ironhide could come online at any given moment and they were just joking around.

"Shut up?" Optimus asked, surprised.

"Fine, fine. Shut up, _sir!_"

Chromia chuckled at the medic. Then she went on removing what armor blocked the gum-contaminated areas of her mech's body while Ratchet warmed up the vinegar. The armor hid old battle scars, as well as new ones. She put her hand gently over the newest wound-mark, feeling pain in her spark at the sight of it. She wanted the war to be over. She wanted the death and dying, and the pain and fear, all to be old things of the past. If only the scars were all old scars, most of them faded, not fresh, and the stories of the field told with laughter and braggadocio, not seriousness and sorrow.

She sighed and gave his shoulder a gentle caress before moving on.

She narrowed her optics when she found the "twin striping." She and Optimus had heard every word of Ironhide's short conversation with Ratchet about the twins. She suddenly decided that the twins were going to be in for it when she finished with Ironhide. Plotting revenge could wait for later, though; there was a more serious task at hand. She set the scratched armor aside and continued.

Soon it was time for the main work, the cleaning.

Ratchet had poured the vinegar into small containers with nozzles and had gotten out a large quantity of disposable brushes.

"This should be pretty simple." He said drily, "Spray; scrub. Once the brush starts to get gummed up, throw it away and get a new one. Oh, and be careful to not get any gum on yourselves." He added sarcastically.

"I dunno," Chromia said, spinning her brush between her palms, "Elita might appreciate it if Optimus did." She wanted to joke to hide her sad feelings over Ironhide's pain.

Optimus raised an optic ridge. "I believe there are better ways to spend time together."

"Blah, blah, blah." Ratchet retorted. "Work already."

"Work! Work! What are you, a Decepticon task-enforcer?" Chromia teased as she took one of the bottles from him. Teasing Ratchet was fun and distracted her well.

Ratchet didn't condescend to answer but shoved another bottle towards Prime and went to work himself.

::He seems awfully short-tempered.:: Chromia commented on a private comm. to Optimus.

::He's nervous.:: Optimus replied, ::He's anxious about Ironhide's reaction, and he's concerned about how well the vinegar will work. It's not personal.:: he reassured the femme, ::But I'm fairly certain the ribbing isn't helping his mood…:: The Prime gently hinted.

::I guess I'd better try to quit teasing him.:: Chromia sent before signing out.

The three bots worked in silence for a short time, diligently applying themselves to the task at hand. Then Optimus broke the silence.

"It doesn't smell quite so bad once you get used to it…" he commented.

"And we're in a fairly open space, so the smell is diffused," Ratchet told him.

"I'll point this out to my mech as soon as possible." Chromia said. "Hopefully before he shoots us." She added.

"Thank-you, I'm sure." Ratchet said.

"I'll also point out that it's washing away quite a bit of the tough grime that has built up since he came to earth." Chromia added.

Ratchet looked more closely at the part of Ironhide's side that he'd been working on. "So it is." He realized. "I think I like this stuff. It's removing the gum, _and_ it's making him cleaner!"

"Does this mean we'll all be taking baths in vinegar?" Optimus asked as his nose-plating twitched.

Chromia, quick as she was, caught the motion, "I thought you said it didn't smell so bad." She teased.

"I said it didn't smell _quite__so_ bad. It still smells." He clarified.

"Ah." She was still amused at the thought of Prime wincing at the smell of vinegar.

"See if you're still smirking when you have to wash in it." Optimus countered with a bit of a mischievous twinkle in his optics.

"Ratchet said nothing about us washing in it!" She replied hastily. She didn't want to get in the stuff.

"Ahh! Ha!" Optimus pointed a brush triumphantly at her.

"You." She said accusingly. "Ratchet?"

Ratchet smiled. "Well," he said, "They won't be mandatory like the physicals are, but it would be beneficial to wash in it. There are different compounds and minerals here than we were used to on Cybertron, so our soaps don't remove them as well as they do our home-planet contaminants. Vinegar just may be the answer for earth-contaminants."

"Wow." Chromia said, rather intrigued. "So… I guess you'd better get used to the smell, Ops."

"There must be alternatives." Optimus said, his optics widening. "Science has many wonders…"

"Like vinegar." Chromia said smugly.


	14. Chapter 14, Superpowers

Update here! :) I didn't mean to miss last week, but my computer was down and not working. I'm going out of town once more before school starts again, so I probably won't have an update next week. I hope to have one after that, though. :)

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><p>Chapter 14<p>

**Superpowers**

Ratchet began to relax as the scrubbing went smoothly. Ironhide remained peacefully in recharge, and Chromia quit teasing the Medic quite so much, praising him from time to time instead. This worked wonders on the rough old Bot. Chromia knew her powers. And she had quite a few.

"This is going surprisingly well." Ratchet said presently, surveying the work.

"Yes, it is." Optimus said encouragingly but cautiously. He didn't want to discourage his Medic, but he wasn't letting his guard down just yet.

"Just wait until we're doing it to you and see how you like it then," Chromia teased the Prime.

"Uh-uh-uh-uh, not happening!" Optimus shook his head. "We already covered that." His velvety voice deepened a little as he worked to be stern. He knew she wouldn't tease him so much if Ironhide been awake.

Ratchet knew it, too. Ratchet chuckled.

"**RATCHET!**" Ironhide roared, completely and utterly enraged.

Three pairs of optics flew wide with horrow, and both Optimus and Ratchet hit the floor that second, getting out of sight as fast as possible. Chromia's mouth flopped open for a split second, but she collected herself in an instant.

"Do I look like Ratchet?" Chromia asked coyly as she leaned over her mech. She placed her body such that it pressed against the mech's unarmored side.

Ironhide was distracted for a moment before he glared at her. "Where's Ratchet." he demanded to know.

"You don't want him around here, do you?" she asked, caressing his helm with her fingers as she put her lips closer to his and dropped to a whisper. "I personally think he'd spoil this..."

"Chromia." Ironhide growled. "Where. Is. Ratchet." Ironhide had now discovered the restraints and was jerking at them.

"Why, what do you want ol' Ratchet for, my spark?" she pretended innocent ignorance.

"So I can pound him into scrap." Ironhide didn't mince words. "Now you answer my question. Where. Is. He."

Chromia paused, deciding what course to take with her angry spark-mate. She knew she wasn't going to tell him anything, but she wasn't entirely sure what she was going to do instead. Perhaps just trying different tactics until one work would do.

She leaned closer. "We can pound him later," she cooed.

"No." He jerked his restraints again, "Now."

So, that didn't work.

Chromia wandered away from the mech, thereby informing him of her disinterest in continuing that line of discussion. Walking slowly with just enough emphasis in the movement of her hips, she hoped to draw his thoughts away from Ratchet.

She heard him kicking and growling behind her, though, and knew that that tactic had failed. This was annoying. That tactic usually worked. She went over to the counter to get a wipe to clean her hands in pretended indifference. And then she heard Ironhide get quiet.

At the silence, her alert systems kicked up to a higher level. She smiled cunningly; her instincts knew her mech. He was planning something. And she had to be ready.

She paused and peeked at him out of the corner of her optic.

He was trying to pull his cannons from subspace, apparently hoping that it would overload the energy bonds that restrained him. Only Ratchet had temporarily disabled the subspace-pullers.

"**ARRRR!**" He bellowed in frustration. "WHERE'S RATCHET!" He yelled, but it wasn't directed at Chromia. He rarely ever yelled at his femme. And he always regretted it when he did.

Chromia decided that she would buff her fingers while she was leaning on the counter. She didn't do it often, for she prefered polishing her cannons, and it took time. It would be a good pass-time. She took out her little clothe and a bit of waxy polish and dipped the clothe in and began work on her first finger.

"**RRRRRRRRACTHET!**" Ironhide yelled.

Chromia buffed the tip a little extra and examined it.

Ironhide growled and then yelled again. "**RAAAAAAATCHET!**"

She hadn't noticed the new little scuff on the first joint before. She took out a little paint applicator and touched up the little scuff, hiding it. Then she blew it to speed up the drying process.

"**RATCH-EHHHHHHT!" **

Satisfied that the paint was dry, Chromia went on to polish it a little more.

"_**RATCHET!**_"

"I don't think he's coming." Chromia said, not looking up from her polishing.

"Then where is he?" Ironhide wasn't quite as demanding as before. He'd finally gotten a response from _someone_, anyway. And he knew that Chromia might respond better if he didn't go ordering her about. He wanted answers. And when he was tied down, he couldn't shove and threaten to get them. He'd have to ask nicely. Especially since it was his femme.

The femme smirked ever so slightly as she shrugged nonchalantly. "He doesn't check in with _me_ when he decides to go somewhere."

Ironhide smiled. He knew Chromia too well to be misled. That little smirk had given her away.

"Chromia," he said, "You know exactly where he is."

Chromia chuckled in defeat. "Alright, I do. So what?"

"So tell me where he is." He said doggedly. What else could he say to persuade her? "Please?"

"Mech, mech, I'm not telling you." She replied, stilling busy with her fingertips.

Ironhide considered a few things, all while gently tugging at the bonds to see if there was any weakness in them, then he stopped. "He's near isn't he?" he asked.

"Near or far, it doesn't really matter cuz I'm not telling." Her fingers were starting to look very nice again. Not quite as nice as Elita's, for Elita gave constant and careful care to hers. Elita wasn't prissy, she'd get her hands scuffed and filthy without hersitation, but she always cleaned them up nicely afterwards. Chromia usually just washed the dirt off and went on. She decided that it was her rough upbringing.

"He's right here in Med-Bay, isn't he?" Ironhide said, a little cunning look touching his face.

Chromia knew Ironhide wouldn't rest or give in if he knew Ratchet was within hearing range. She didn't want that one bit. She frowned.

And then she smiled. She'd just thought of something fun that both of them would enjoy. One of her superpowers.

"Tell you what," She said, putting away her clothe and wax and approaching the mech.

"What…?" Ironhide prompted, watching her expectantly. He wanted the answer. He wanted to know where Ratchet was.

Chromia came close and put her hands behind her back. "This," she slowly unlatched and removed the armoring that covered her middle and stood there with a bare midriff.

A smile curved the mech's lips upwards as his optics took in the graceful lines of the silver-colored cords and cables that formed the metal muscles of his femme's abs.

"Still want Ratchet?"

"Want… who?" he purred softly. She grinned back at him and slipped the bit armoring into subspace.

She leaned over him again, "Now," she whispered, "Be good."

"My hands are tied; I'll have to." He said reproachfully.

She kissed his lips. "They won't always be." She said and picked up a brush and spray bottle.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Ironhide's optics shifted from her middle to the tools of torture in her hands, "What are these?"

She squirted a good bit of vinegar in his shoulder for answer.

His expression was rather unreadable as he watched. He was probably mostly startled, Chromia decided, poor mech. He probably didn't know what to think. Or perhaps the sedative hadn't worn off entirely and was still slowing his systems.

She smiled at him and waved the brush before threading into his shoulder workings and scrubbing.

There was quiet for a few moments before the mech finally spoke again.

"It tickles just a little…" he said tentatively, not sure if it was going to hurt later.

"Ratchet toned down the sensors so you wouldn't feel it much." Chromia explained.

"Oh..." He was realizing that this procedure wasn't quite as horrific as he imagined it. Chromia was so very graceful. And the vinegar didn't even smell all that bad, he realized. He checked his olfactory sensor-system. Ratchet hadn't done anything with it. He was smelling accurately.

"What?" Chromia asked, observing the thoughtful expression on her mech's face.

"It smells bad." He said gruffly, intending to be consistent with his complaints but knowing Chromia would probably see through his ruse.

Chromia grinned at him as she turned to get another brush. It hadn't fooled her. He hadn't expected it to, so he didn't mind at all, and he loved her grin and the way the slivery cabling in her middle tightened or rippled when she moved.

She turned back with the new brush and gave her mech a flirty look before going to refill her vinegar bottle. He watched. Chromia glanced back to see if he was, and she grinned at him when she saw that he was. And he seemed quite content.

Her superpowers were working great.

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><p>Hope you liked it! :) I'll update next year! ;)<p> 


	15. Chapter 15, Sad

Hey! I do get to update this week! :D

This is the same scene from last chapter, actually, but it's from a different perspective. Hope you folks don't mind the repeated dialogue too much.

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><p>Chapter 15<p>

**Sad**

Optimus and Ratchet had each hidden behind berths when Ironhide had yelled. They hadn't originally intended to hide like that, but it'd happened as instinctively as if someone had been shooting at them.

::Well, that was brave.:: Ratchet commented sarcastically on a private intercom to Optimus.

::You can go back out there if you like.:: Optimus replied, smirking sheepishly over at the medic, who was not beyond his range of vision.

::I'd rather let Chromia handle it this time.:: Ratchet replied, making a face.

::Understood completely.::

"Where's Ratchet." Ratchet winced at Ironhide's demanding tone. This could deteriorate quickly if Chromia got mad at the mech's tone. It wouldn't be good.

"You don't want him around here, do you?" he heard the femme ask. Then her voice dropped to a whisper.

::Oh, great. They're whispering!:: Ratchet got a little frantic.

::It could be something good.:: Optimus encouraged the medic.

::Or not. If it was meant to distract, it failed.:: Ratchet retorted when Ironhide growled and demanded to know where he was again.

"Why, what do you want ol' Ratchet for, my spark?" the femme asked.

"So I can pound him into scrap. Now you answer my question. Where. Is. He."

Ratchet repressed a groan. Optimus repressed a chuckle at how blunt Ironhide was.

::Don't laugh.:: Ratchet ordered, seeing the smirk on his leader's face. ::Don't you dare laugh. It is so not funny.::

"We can pound him later," Chromia cooed alluringly.

::SHE SAYS WHAT? !::

"No. Now." Ironhide wasn't waylaid.

::That would have worked with me:: Optimus commented.

::_WHAT?_::

::_If_ _Elita_ had said it, silly mech. You should let me finish my sentences.::

::Oh, sorry. Seriously sorry. That was… hm. Bad.::

Optimus smiled over at him to let him know he was forgiven.

They heard Chromia wander away from her mech. And they heard the mech kicking and growling. Then they tensed up as they heard Ironhide get quiet.

::Uh-oh. Now what's he planning?::

Optimus glanced at Ratchet again. His CMO was starting to get paranoid. He peeked so he could answer Ratchet and raised an optic-ridge at what he saw. ::He's trying to pull his cannons from subspace… trying to overload the energy bonds.::

::Good thing I disabled his subspace-pullers.::

::He's really going to pound you into scrap for it when he gets free…::

"**ARRRR!** WHERE'S RATCHET!"

Ratchet winced. Optimus grimaced.

"**RRRRRRRRACTHET!**"

Ratchet resisted doing a face-palm. He knew this tactic. The patient would yell his name repeatedly until it drove him mad and he went out to shut the patient down.

"**RAAAAAAATCHET!**"

::What _is_ his femme doing? She's supposed to be handling this!:: Ratchet fretted in exasperation.

"**RATCH-EHHHHHHT!" **

Optimus peeked. ::She's buffing her fingers.::

::Great.::

"_**RATCHET!**_"

::So many different ways to yell my name…::

"I don't think he's coming." Chromia sounded a little bored. Ratchet perked up; the femme had finally decided to get back on her job.

"Then where is he?" Ironhide didn't sound quite as demanding as before. Ratchet gathered just a little more hope.

"He doesn't check in with _me_ when he decides to go somewhere."

::He's not going to buy that. He is so not going to buy that.:: Ratchet muttered on the comm. as the hope vanished.

::Pessimist.:: Optimus replied.

"Chromia, You know exactly where he is."

::See? I was right.:: Ratchet sent back.

"Alright, so I do. So what?" the femme asked.

"So tell me where he is." Ironhide said doggedly. "Please?"

"Mech, mech, I'm not telling you."

"He's near isn't he?"

'_Aiiigh! No, no,no!_' Ratchet thought desperately. He looked around and calculated how quickly he could get to each of the two exits.

::Sh. Stay still.:: Optimus instructed, sensing his medic's panic.

"Near or far, it doesn't really matter cuz I'm not telling." Chromia said to her mech.

"He's right here in Med-Bay, isn't he?" The Weapons Master sounded cunning.

"Tell you what," Chromia said. Ratchet grimaced, fearing what she might tell, and braced for the worst. Optimus hoped it would be more successful than the previous tactics.

"What…?" he heard Ironhide prompt.

"This," the femme said, her tone deepening a little.

There was a soft clink of metal but no words. The quiet was disturbing to the two hiding mechs. Both peeked to see what was going on.

Ratchet's optics widened in shock. Prime snapped his shut then smirked.

'_Aiiiiiighhhhhhhhh!_' Ratchet thought. Chromia was _not_ supposed to be doing that sort of thing in public!

"Still want Ratchet?" the femme asked.

'_Aiiiiiighhhhhhhhh!_' Ratchet thought again only with more intensity.

"Want… who?" Ironhide's question masked Optimus's strangle chuckle.

'_This is not happening in my Med-Bay! __**MY**__ MED-BAY!_' Ratchet thought incredulously. It was a public area, not a private one, and she was stripping off her armor! Prowl needed to make another rule about... Actually, Prowl absolutely needed to not show up. That would be awful for more than one reason.

Ratchet heard Chromia whispering something to Ironhide and him murmuring something back.

::Optimus!:: He got a little more frantic at what he saw next.

::What? I'm not looking.::

::They're kissing!::

Optimus peeked with one optic. ::Indeed they are.:: A gentle smile curved his lips as he thought of his own femme. He closed the optic again as Chromia moved, and in his head he pictured Elita that way, her middle bare and silvery. He wished he was with her now instead of on the floor hiding from a mech who was enjoying his own femme.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Ironhide's nervous protest made him open his optics again. "What's this?"

Chromia squirted his shoulder with vinegar for an answer.

Optimus wished for Elita more as Chromia gently scrubbed her mech's shoulder. Elita had a beautiful mind and being as well as a beautiful body. Too often, the Prime realized, he focused on her mind as an intellect-based bot. They worked on problem solving and came up with plans, shared ideas, spoke of experiences, and talked intellectual talk in his office. They were formal in public, and they were almost always in public, and then they were generally tired from the day when the privacy of evening came. It seemed like a quarter of the time he fell into recharge before she ever entered their recharge area. They didn't usually have the time or energy to share themselves physically as Ironhide and Chromia did.

"It tickles just a little…" Ironhide's voice interrupted Optimus's thoughts.

"Ratchet toned down the sensors so you wouldn't feel it much." Chromia explained gently.

"Oh..." The mech said with a wondering tone. Then there was comfortable silence between the pair again. And it made Optimus sad. He wanted Elita more than ever. They had a marvelous time when they did get together, but it wasn't often.

"What?" Chromia asked.

"It smells bad." Ironhide said gruffly.

::He doesn't sound too upset.:: Ratchet commented in a dry tone. He didn't receive an answer, though, so he looked over at his leader. The other mech was looking at the floor a little morosely. ::What's going on, Optimus?::

::I miss my femme.::

Ratchet smiled. ::I can see how this could have that effect.:: he said, unusually empathetic. ::You'll see her this evening won't you, though?::

::We'll both be too tired for… that.:: he nodded his head towards his Weapons Master and the femme.

Ratchet looked back at the couple. Chromia was flirting with her mech as she went to refill her vinegar bottle. ::I'm sorry, my friend.::

Optimus sighed, but Chromia's soft chuckle hid it from Ironhide. '_I'm sorry, too._' Optimus thought. '_Sorry I'm always so busy leading that I don't have time to love._'

::Maybe something will work out.:: Ratchet told him, hoping to encourage him. ::Or maybe _you_ can make something work out if it doesn't just happen.::

Optimus looked back at Chromia and Ironhide. As Prime, he always took charge of situations that he faced. Ratchet was right; he could do something about him and Elita. He didn't have to be sad.

* * *

><p>There yous go. Next chapter will be "all new" :)<p>

And I'm considering putting in a chapter of just Elita and Optimus... Haven't decided yet.


	16. Chapter 16, Shock

Hi! I just have one thing to say before I get on with the next chapter: **I do not write slash**, I never have, and I never will. Nobody has to worry about that here. Okay. That's all. :)

(And I won't write anything intimately detailed or explicit, either).

Hummergrey suggested some chapter titles… this is one of them. :) (Thank-you!)

* * *

><p>Chapter 16<p>

**Shock**

The floor was getting harder and harder as time went on. Or so it seemed to Ratchet and Optimus.

And time was getting slower, too. It was fairly dragging.

::How much progress have you made?:: Ratchet asked Chromia over an intercom that was open only to her and Optimus.

::Well… from looking at the scanner, I'd say that we're a quarter of the way done.:: Chromia replied.

::A quarter?:: He hid the dismay from his tone, but he could hardly believe that they were only that much done. He calculated that it was true, though. It was going to take a long, long time.

::It is _slow_ work, Ratchet.:: Chromia hid a smirk as she sent this to the medic. He'd often told her this when she was fretting about how long _he_ took doing something. Now she got to say it to him.

Ratchet glared at her despite the fact that her back was towards him. Then he smiled. She didn't know yet that he was irritated by the delay. He could get her back for harassing him earlier.

::Well, considering the view that I have… I don't mind.:: he sent, keeping a nonchalant tone.

Chromia stiffened for a split second but quickly resumed her activity so Ironhide wouldn't know that something was up.

Of all the nerve-wire! What gall!

::You keep your optics off of me.:: the warrior femme ordered tersely, resisting the urge to turn and glare at him.

::I'm a medic; I only peek in the line of duty.:: Ratchet sent back with a smug smirk.

::Off.:: she ordered.

::I'm not sure about that. It's usually a battle to get you to strip anything for your physical in here; I think I'll take advantage of the situation.:: These words would aggravate the femme as well, but as he said them, he realized that he actually could follow them.

::Ratchet…!:: The femme's tone was a little threatening.

::The blade scar lower down on your left side doesn't look like it's fading as fast as it should be. Almost all of the bruising from your abs is gone, though, which is good.:: he didn't have to make his observations over the comm. to her, but that made it more interesting, and it took care of having to plot revenge for her teasing later.

::Ratchet. Those Cons may kick hard, but it's not going to be much compared to what's gonna happen to you.::

Never give in. Ratchet went on. ::I think some of the cording on your right external oblique looks a little too tight, though. Do you ever feel a shooting pain there from time to time?::

::I'll give you a shooting pain. With my taze-gun. Actually, no. I'll tell Ironhide that you're behind that berth, peeking, _looking at me like this_. And then I'll power down the restraints that are keeping him on this berth. Now what do you say?::

::I say you're bluffing. You know we'd never get Ironhide back on that berth if you let him off.:: He hoped he was guessing right. If not, he'd have a jealous AND mad Ironhide on him in a matter of seconds. To say it would be bad would be an understatement. Optimus raised an optic-ridge.

"Ow!" Ironhide yelped. "Watch it, femme." He told his spark-mate gently. "That didn't feel so good."

"Aw, I'm sorry." She turned all her attention back to her mech. She hadn't meant to jab so hard with the brush. Bad Ratchet. She could deal with him later, though. Ironhide needed (or wanted) her undivided attention. "I guess there are still some pretty sensitive sensor arrays still fully on."

"You were preoccupied, too." Her observant mate pointed out, covertly and hopefully watching her for any guilty reactions that might lead him to guess where Ratchet was.

Chromia knew this line of conversation would lead to him asking what she'd been preoccupied about. And she didn't want to go there.

"I'm sorry, my poor mech. Shall I kiss it all better?"

The remedy generally used on sparklings seemed to appeal to the mech at the moment, for he smiled and his optics twinkled. "Yeah," he said with a chuckle. Forget Ratchet… again.

She leaned over and tenderly kissed his upper arm. "Good?"

"A little higher up."

She laughed softly then kissed his arm again, a little higher up. "There?"

::If he says much higher and more to the right, I'll shoot him.:: Ratchet muttered on the comm..

::Hey, if he can talk her into kissing him on the mouth, I say let him go for it.:: Optimus retorted gently, still sensitive to the subject of mech and femme physical relationships.

::Thank-you, Optimus.:: Chromia replied as she smiled at her mech.

Ironhide seemed content. He was plotting, though. He loved his femme and enjoyed her as well as the attention and the view, but he didn't like being down on his back for very long. He wanted up. Soon.

There was a problem, though. Chromia wasn't just going to power down the restraints if he asked, nor would she believe him if he tried to convince her that he wouldn't run off. He simply wanted to be able to sit up and hurry up the process of scrubbing the gum out by using a brush as well. With the two of them, the gum would get gone twice as fast -if he focused on it.

He could try talking Chromia into letting him up, but… if he tried and failed, then she'd be on guard for any tricks. Although, it failed the other way around, too; if he tried tricks, she'd be on guard if he tried to talk about anything.

What tricks did he have, though? The first step was to take inventory of resources.

"Now who's looking preoccupied?" Chromia teased, batting at his nose.

He chuckled mysteriously. "I can't plan ahead? Such service must be rewarded, you know."

This come-back made Chromia smile, but Ironhide frowned once she turned away to get a new brush. He would have to be careful to not look like he was plotting. Chromia could read him, just as he could read her, and she'd know.

Then he realized that he couldn't really plot, for he had no resources. The energy-bonds imprisoned him, and his subspace-pullers were disabled. This was discouraging.

On her part, Chromia was certain that her mech was planning something more than something special for her. He didn't usually narrow his optics when planning something special unless it was a special blast for a Decepticon.

She slipped a leg up onto his berth so that she was half sitting on the berth. The leg on the berth was against his arm, and she leaned over and put her hand on the other side of the berth so that she was leaning over him, very close face to face. "Hey," she whispered.

"Yeah?" he liked this new arrangement.

"You're not going anywhere until this is done, so don't waste your time trying to come up with a way to get free."

"Why would I want to go anywhere else?" he whispered back. It was half femme-centered-mech talk, and half deflection.

"Because you don't like being restrained in Med-Bay, especially on your back. I know."

Ironhide sighed in resignation. "I don't see a way to get free, anyway." He murmured.

"Just have a little more patience, and we'll get through." She sealed the promise with a kiss.

"Ratchet," Prowl said, entering the room with his optics on the data-pad in his hands.

Chromia froze.

"I br…" He looked up and saw Chromia and Ironhide. "_OUGH-!_" He dropped his data-pad and did an about-face so fast that he tripped as he tried to avoid stepping on his data-pad. There was no saving this. It threw his balancing system off. He stumbled and barely kept himself from falling flat on his face by catching himself on his hands.

He stared at the floor for a couple seconds.

Then he sat up, keeping his back to the bonded pair. Chromia straightened but stayed half sitting on the berth, and she covered her mouth. She wasn't sure whether to be mortified at getting caught by the Second-in-Command with part of her armor off, or to be highly amused by his reaction. But she was leaning towards amused.

"I…" Prowl started, he stopped and twitched his wings in consternation as he fully realized what was going on. "I brought a report for Ratchet to fill out."

"Is he in here?" Ironhide asked suspiciously. Chromia saw his optics narrow.

"I merely came here to look for him first because he is generally in here." Prowl said, sounding simplistically logical. In truth, he wasn't entirely sure what was going on with Ratchet not being visible, and he knew it would be safest to plead ignorance in this case. "I have not seen him in here, though."

"You've hardly seen anything in here." Ironhide countered. He was pretty certain Prowl knew where Ratchet was.

"I saw plenty." Prowl replied.

"I'm sorry, Prowl." Chromia said. She managed not to laugh, but she was glad his back was turned or he would have seen the laughing smile on her face. "We weren't expecting anybody. It's just a mid-riff, anyway, nothing else."

Prowl couldn't think of anything polite or nice to say to her apology. He wished he didn't have to always be the Second-in-Command. He wished the Cons were all done with. He wished he had his own femme to have fun with and didn't feel little stabs of jealousy from time to time. He wished things won't be so complicated. He wished the Cons had never existed. Wishing wouldn't get him anywhere, though. "Where shall I leave this report for Ratchet?" he asked.

"Umm…" Chromia looked around from where she sat. "Could you leave on his desk?"

"No. It is highly confidential."

Chromia shifted a little. While she liked to tease him, she did care about the younger bot and didn't want to push him too far. She rubbed her head, considering what might work best for the stressed Commander. "Well…"

Meanwhile, Ironhide discovered what would work best for the Weapons Specialist. The femme was right against his arm. If he could catch her leg armor and trigger the defense system, then the shock it would deliver might just overload the energy bonds that restrained him.

He had to be quick, and there wouldn't be room for error. One slip and Chromia would be onto his plan. And she would offline him.

"Perhaps you could leave it on the counter over there, and I could let him know about it?" Chromia offered the Commander.

Prowl considered this carefully. Then he slowly nodded his head. "Yes. That should work." He decided.

The Commander rose carefully, concerned about his balancers. They seemed to be fully functional now, though. He shot Chromia a glance then made his way over to the counter, not keeping his back to her, but not looking at her either.

Ironhide saw his chance. Chromia was focused on Prowl; she wouldn't see him, Ironhide, making his move.

He readied himself mentally for the strong shock. Then he braced for it and darted his fingers under Chromia's leg armor and jerked the catch.

_"YEOW!"_ the shock was stronger than he'd remembered.

"_**IRONHIDE!**_"

Ironhide dropped the piece of armor and rolled off the berth, dropping to the floor on the other side of the berth from where the enraged femme was. He was free. He was about to be offline, but at least he was free.

* * *

><p>Mwhahahaha! Cliff-hanger! And more trouble ahead.<p>

Anyway, I've finally done some art for this story. Hummergrey suggested it, actually. So, now there's a drawing of Ironhide with candy cascading down from him like a battered piñata on deviantART. It goes with chapter two. :)

Here's a link (take out the spaces)

http:/ cairistona. deviantart. Com /art/ Oops-A-Sticky-Situation- 278212352

Or you can go to my FanFiction Profile, and I have a link to my DA page there. :)


	17. Chapter 17, Scare

Chapter 17

**Scared**

"**_IRONHIDE!_**" Chromia roared a second time as she darted around to her mech's side of the berth. She was going to reduce him to scrap metal.

Ironhide shoved the drip-basin out from under the berth and scrambled under the berth to get to the side that Chromia had just left.

Chromia glared at him when she saw him on the other side. Then she vaulted over the berth, lunging at him. He saw the look in her optics and knew he'd be doomed if he didn't stop her from pummeling him. He didn't want to fight her, he really didn't. His survival instincts offered only one other solution at such short notice.

He ducked, and then grabbed her, snapping handcuffs on her right hand and cuffing her to the side-bar of the berth in the blink of on optic. Then he wished he taken the beating instead.

She screeched in rage. "DARE YOU! HOW DARE YOU!" She yelled at him, lunging forward.

He jumped out of range as she kicked at him.

"Calm down-"

"YOU JUST HAND-CUFFED ME –DO YOU THINK I'M JUST GONNA CALLLLM DOWN CUZ YOU SAID TO?"

::Ratchet, I think this is going south very quickly.:: Optimus murmured on the comm. to his medic.

::I hadn't noticed, thank-you.:: Ratchet replied with nervous sarcasm.

::Be prepared to bolt for an exit. I'll tell you when to run, and you tell me which exit you're heading for before you do, and I'll cover for you.:: Optimus replied, ever calm.

::Got it. Thank-you:: Ratchet looked over at his friend and commander and nodded his respect to him. Optimus nodded back, acknowledging it.

Ratchet winced at a loud "clang."

"No. Don't start-!" Ironhide protested.

Chromia grabbed another tool from the nearby workbench and hurled it at the mech.

Ironhide groaned and took refuge behind the berth that he'd cuffed his spark-mate to. He really hadn't considered how mad she'd get. He pressed a little closer to the berth as another tool flew over it. That was close. Another tool followed, and then another wrench.

Then nothing.

Chromia was still.

Ironhide peeked. From where he was, crouched by the leg of the berth, he really could only see her legs, her lovely, sleek, sky-blue legs. Legs that could deliver powerful and painful kicks. And he couldn't see what she was doing with her hands. If she got herself out of those cuffs before he got her to calm down, he'd be in even more serious trouble.

He raised his head a little then ducked swiftly to avoid a wrench. Humans were usually either skilled with their right hands or with their left hands. Cybertronians were ambidextrous, skilled with both. And Chromia was no human. She had killer aim with both hands.

"Chromia, I'm sorry," Ironhide decided he'd better start apologizing and explaining himself quickly. "I simply wanted to be free… I wasn't trying to make you mad. I have no intentions of leaving Med-Bay until this …gum-removing procedure is complete."

He received no answer and feared to raise his head again. Decepticons were easy to handle compared to an enraged spark-mate. The Cons he could treat roughly. A spark-mate was someone you kept for life, someone you cared for, someone you did your upmost to keep happy. That did not include treating her roughly.

Well, he'd done that thoughtlessly in cuffing her to the berth. That had been his self-preservation instincts running without checking them with his bond-mate instincts.

"Chromia?" he asked. She was standing still, as far as he could tell. "Chromia… I love you… love you more than anything." He told her sincerely, "You are the best thing in my life, but I'm fallible; I don't always make the right decisions. I never should have done what I did." He admitted humbly, "Please forgive me."

No answer.

"Please?"

Still no answer. Ironhide dared to raise his head just a little, very slowly, ready to duck the second Chromia moved.

No projectiles came hurtling towards his head, though, and he got a look at his femme.

She was desperately trying to hack the lock, and she... she looked like she was ready to cry. Ironhide's optics widened with shock. Chromia didn't just break into tears over anything.

"Oh… Chromia…" Ironhide said with regret as he rose.

"Get me loose," she cried softly, tears starting to trickle down her face.

Ironhide was beside her in a moment, gently cradling her against himself as he removed the cuffs.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he murmured fervently to her as he drew her away from the berth. She turned and hid her face against his shoulder, letting him hold her. "I'm sorry that I forgot your past…" he held her close, comforting her. "I'm sorry I scared you." He closed his optics as he remembered things she'd told him about her sparkling and youngling years, bad things.

Chromia leaned her weight on him, letting him hold and support her. She been enraged at him there for a few moments, but the cuffs had triggered horrible memories, ones she'd hoped she'd forgotten. She knew Ironhide would never do that intentionally, though. He'd never hurt her.

Now that the scare was over, she realized that he'd only been thinking about protecting himself from her rage. And she knew she had a temper. She knew it had its dangerous moments. She knew Ironhide would do his best to avoid it. This time it had come to fighting her or restraining her, and he'd gone the gentler route of restraining. He'd not realized the fear he'd reignite with it, though.

He was gently rubbing her back now, and it felt so good, so comforting. She would be alright. The haunting memories were only memories; the characters in them couldn't get her now. She was safe in Ironhide's arms.

He gave her a gentle snuggle, holding her a little tighter. She knew he felt horrible; she could feel it over their bond. Poor mech. She squeezed back gently and moved to kiss his neck. She kissed and then looked up to meet his optics.

He looked so regretful. He wondered if she could ever forgive him, but she knew she'd always forgive him. She rose on her toes a little and kissed him on the lips.

Ironhide was a little surprised at this undeserved gesture, but then he returned the kiss in full with tenderness.

"Mm." Chromia sighed when he finished. She rested her head on his shoulder for a couple moments. Then Ironhide slipped a finger under her chin and lifted it gently.

"Will you be alright?" he asked, his optics searching hers.

She nodded, not breaking optic-contact.

He sighed softly in relief and hugged her again.

"You are going to be in serious trouble for that caper you did back there with my leg armor, though." She told him after savoring his embrace for a little while more.

He half-smiled ruefully. "I just wanted to get up, and I couldn't pass up that opportunity. I wasn't going to run."

"That's what you say." Chromia countered, but she wasn't sure she wanted to argue. Somehow he seemed to melt away her anger.

"I could have run once you were cuffed. I didn't have to duck behind a berth." He said softly, wondering if another kiss would help prove his point.

Chromia reached up and traced the slight dent that her first wrench had left on his check. He let her do this then turned his head and kissed her fingers lightly.

"Forgive me?" he asked.

She smiled. How could she not? She nodded. "I forgive you." She said.

He smiled down at her, happy again, relieved that he'd not cause permanent damage.

"Now you plant your after-plating on the berth and don't move it unless you want it to get seriously kicked." She ordered.

He grinned. She was welcome kick his tail any day she wanted as far as he was concerned. They had work to do now, though. "Yes, ma'am." He said, his optics twinkling.

Ratchet gusted cool air through his system softly with relief as he heard Ironhide settle back down on the berth. That had been close. Very close.


	18. Chapter 18, SNAFU

Hi! I had to get my laptop fixed after a horrible virus, and then I was busy with college. I finally got this chapter done!

I'm a Page on facebook now. You can "Like" me. I'll do status updates from time to time, and I'll post drawings for my stories and stuff. It's pretty private for you folks since it's a "Likeable" page instead of a "Friend" page. I won't see you stuff unless you make it public. Here's the link (Take out the spaces):

https: / www. facebook. com/ pages/ Cairistona/ 283198991745833

Or you can use the link on my FFN profile. Anyways, that's that. Here's the new chapter! :)

* * *

><p>Sticky 18<p>

**SNAFU_  
><em>**_(Situation Normal, All Fouled Up!_)**  
><strong>

"Your leg armoring is mismatched." Ironhide said, smiling down at his femme's legs.

"Uh-huh." Chromia said, hiding a smile. As much as she would have liked to, she knew she shouldn't encourage him at this point. They'd never get done. Besides, she knew Ratchet and Optimus were right on the other sides of some of the spare berths with their audio-processors functioning normally. She bent over and picked the missing piece up off the floor.

"You want to match," Ironhide told her, caressing her fully covered leg.

She chuckled and stepped away. "Don't move your plating off that berth," she warned as he started to follow. He stayed sitting. "We don't know when another bot will walk in on us." She told him as she clasped the armoring in place.

Ironhide paused. Prowl. They'd forgotten Prowl.

"Prowl," he mouthed, smirking.

"Oh…!" Chromia dropped down to a whisper. She covered her mouth as her optics widened.

"I forgot about him…" Ironhide whispered back, his optics sparkling with mischief as he looked over to where he'd last seen the Second-in-Command.

Prowl was still there. He wasn't standing, though. He was curled up protectively, with his hands clasped over his neck and his door-wings folded down securely over his back. He looked like a perfect model for the duck-and-cover drill.

Ironhide chuckled softly.

"Prowl," he called.

There was a pause as Prowl realized that someone had called. "Yes, sir?" his voice was muffled.

"All's clear." Ironhide said, grinning.

"Are you certain?" Prowl asked cautiously. He shifted a wing upwards ever so slightly.

"Of course I'm certain." Ironhide said with some exasperation. Chromia smirked and moved over to get a new brush. Prowl was going to be hard to convince.

Ironhide may have thought all was fine, but something seemed off to Prowl. He wasn't sure what it was; he only knew that it existed and that it might cause some trouble sooner or later.

"Well, I am not sure." Prowl replied firmly, tucking the wing close again.

"Oh, honestly-!" Ironhide slid off the berth to go jerk the silly young mech to his feet.

"Hey!" Chromia snapped at him.

Ironhide jumped. His battle-systems were still quite active from the earlier action, and one glance at Chromia's expression sent them screaming for him to retreat. And fast.

Ironhide bolted as Chromia stepped towards him. He headed for the nearest berth that wasn't his and scrambled over it, dropping down on the other side of it, intending to have a split second of safety before his angry femme launched into.

"WHOA!" Ratchet yelped as Ironhide nearly landed on him.

"RATCHET!" Ironhide yelled as he discovered that the medic must have been that spare berth the entire time.

"I knew something was off…" Prowl murmured as he curled up even tighter, the chevron of his helm pressing firmly against the floor. "SNAFU…"

"Oh, scrap-!" Chromia realized that things had just gotten even more complicated than before.

Optimus jumped up as Ironhide got up and Ratchet backed away on the floor.

Chromia sprang into motion as Optimus did. She'd not known which berth Ratchet was behind, and apparently Ironhide had randomly chosen that one. She ran and vaulted over the berth, intent on tackling Ironhide and knocking him down before he could do Ratchet any harm.

Unfortunately, Optimus had the same idea at the same time. Neither he nor Chromia realized the other's intent until they were moving too fast to stop.

The second she saw Optimus, Chromia knew she'd get hurt if she flew into those two mechs. She grabbed at the edge of the berth as she slid, and that sent her hurtling away from Optimus.

And there was Ratchet.

Chromia's form slammed into the medic, sending both of them crashing to the floor and rolling over a couple times from the momentum. The rolling, while not comfortable, took them out of the way as nearly ten tons of two premium battle mechs slammed to the floor behind the berth.

Optimus grunted at the impact of landing on the floor under Ironhide. Aware of Ironhide's lack of upper armor, Optimus has twisted to the side when tackling him, turning so that Ironhide wouldn't be under him when they went down. It was rather painful at times, looking after others.

Prowl winced at the double crashes and the clatter of rolling bodies and the all around ruckus that four giant metal beings generally made when slamming into each other and hitting the ground. It sounded like all out chaos.

Then there was silence.

Finally, after several moments there were slow, cautious movements.

Optics opened, blinking tentatively, double-checking locations and situations.

Optimus opened his and saw that Ironhide, still weakened by the sedative, had blacked out at the impact. A quick scan showed that he'd be fine. The Prime sighed.

Ratchet opened his optics…

Chromia had been briefly knocked out, but as her system came back on, she felt something heavy on top of her. She opened her optics to find Ratchet staring down at her in shock.

"You're heavy." She gasped out as her system fully registered the medic's weight.

Ratchet rolled them over, and she was on top.

"That's better." She sighed, going limp on his chest. She felt worn out, didn't feel like going through the effort of getting up.

She turned her head, though, and looked around for Ironhide. She raised an optic-ridge when she saw him lying blacked-out on top of Optimus.

"He okay?" She asked, concerned but not quite worried enough to get up.

"He's fine." Optimus said. He twisted his head around, trying to see where Chromia was speaking from. Then he saw her –and Ratchet-, and chuckled weakly. "Ratchet, my friend, I do think you got the better deal."

Ratchet groaned as the femme atop him started to chuckle.

"It's not funny." Ratchet protested. "Ironhide is going to kill me for sedating him like I did, and now he's going to beat me up before doing so because of _this_!"

"Awww… come on, live for the moment." Chromia teased him as she patted his cheek.

"I'd rather not, thank-you. I'd just plain like to live."

Chromia chuckled. "Okay, if that's how you like it."

"It is. Now get off me."

"Mm-hm, whatever pleases the medic," She teased as she shifted to get up.

"WHOAAHH!" Bee yelled, and they heard him running for the main door.

"Uh-oh!" Chromia jumped up and darted after him. "BEE! WAIT! **HALT**!"

Bee winced at the order and halted at the door, his door-wings high with agitation. He couldn't believe-

"Bee, nothing was going on back there." Chromia said to his back. He hadn't turned around. "I was on top of Ratchet because I knocked him out of Prime and Ironhide's way."

"Oh…!" Bee's door-wings lowered with obvious relief. "Ohhhh…"

"Yeah." Chromia said. "Come on back now. I'm sure you didn't wander into Med-Bay just to see that."

Bee chuckled sheepishly and turned to face her.

"AH!" he jerked his head to the side and put a shielding hand before his optics at the sight of her bare midriff.

"Oh… sorry about that." Chromia said drily. "I was just… ah… It's complicated."

Bee signed that it was alright then skirted Chromia and limped back to where Ratchet was. Chromia followed.

"Welcome to the mad-house, Bee." Ratchet said as he helped Optimus lift Ironhide from the floor onto a berth.

Bee's door-wings twitched noticeably. Then he saw Prowl.

"Well, what can I do for you, Bee?" Ratchet asked, eyeing Ironhide's unresponsive form. He looked to Bee when the little scout didn't answer.

Bee was staring at Prowl.

"Oh… that." Ratchet said. "It's a long story. Like, really long. Umm…" he looked over at Chromia.

Chromia gave him a dirty look as she clasped her midriff armor into place.

"Don't worry about it." Ratchet said. "What's going on with you?"

Bee motioned to his sore leg.

"Ah." Ratchet said with a sigh. He glanced around at his comrades. "Have a seat, Bee." He said. He looked thoughtful as Bee sat and then he continued, "Optimus, Chromia, why don't we take a break from …this," he motioned to Ironhide. "Go out, do something, and I'll take care of Bee and then comm. you when I ready to resume with Ironhide."

"That sounds like a good idea." Chromia said. She knew exactly what she was going to do. The twins were going to hate it. She smiled.

"Optimus?" Ratchet asked.

"It is a good idea. I can do some paperwork that I had pushed aside for this time." Optimus decided.

"Prime." Ratchet said firmly, narrowing his optics.

"Bye-bye," Chromia said. She had some twins to catch.

"Good-bye." Ratchet said then turned back to Optimus, "Prime. Do you recall what we were intercomming about earlier? About being …tired?"

Optimus paused then nodded. '_Too tired to have a good time with Elita…'_ he recalled.

Ratchet smiled expectantly. "Here's your chance. This time was set aside for something, now it's free."

A little smile crept up to Primes lips.

"I'll see you later, Ratchet. I _won't_ be in my office." He said. And then he left Med-Bay.

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><p>Alrighty! Who's first, Elita and Prime? Or will it be Chromia vs the Twins?<em><br>_

~Don't forget to check out the facebook! and review! ;)


	19. Chapter 19, Scents

**Sensors. Sticky. Squelched. Submerged. Scuffle. Story. Stuck. Slipping Out. Skeptical. Sure. Scram. Scheme. Science. Superpowers. Sad. Shock. Scare. SNAFU... **

I said this last time, but I'll say it again in case you forgot. ;)

**I'm a Page on facebook now!** You can "Like" me. I do status updates from time to time and occasionally post drawings for my stories and stuff. It's pretty private for you folks since it's a "Likeable" page instead of a "Friend" page. I won't see your stuff unless you make it public. Here's the link (Take out the spaces):

https: / www. facebook. com/ pages/ Cairistona/ 283198991745833

Or you can copy and paste the link that is on my FFN profile. If that doesn't work, I "Like" the Transformers Prime facebook page, and I have commented on their album called "Transformers Prime Wallpapers" and you can find me from there. :)

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><p>"Optimus and Elita" won the vote 3:1 over "Chromia vs the Twins." :) So, this one is for them. I will include what Chromia does with the twins a little later in the story, though, so don't worry about that. (Leave the worrying to the twins ^.~).<p>

Enjoy!

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><p>Chapter 19<p>

**Scents**

Optimus drove down the road quickly. In fact, he realized suddenly, he was actually pushing the speed limit. He was over by two miles per hour. He slowed down. While two miles wasn't much, Prowl was quite a stickler for bots maintaining the speed limit.

'_Prowl's in Med-Bay curled up like there's an air raid…_' the naughtier part of his processor hinted. Optimus chuckled but firmly told himself 'no.' He was the Prime. If Primes didn't obey the speed limit, nobody would.

He maintained the speed limit like a good leader and finally pulled up to his quarters. He knew that Elita had been planning to go to the shooting range, but hopefully she hadn't left yet.

He transformed and keyed in the code to their quarters' door. The door slid open, and he stepped in.

Elita turned in surprise. She'd not been expecting him at all.

"Well, hello." She said as he closed the door. Her tone was warm with pleasure for seeing him, but tinged with a little regret since she thought he didn't have time to stay.

"Hello," he said then realized that his voice sounded a little gusty. And then he realized he had no idea what to say next. '_No!_' he cried silently, _'Don't freeze up!_' The worst thing about being smitten with Elita was that sometimes it made him so nervous that he forgot how to speak.

"How is it going with Ratchet, Chromia, and Ironhide?" Elita asked, turning to finish putting her cannon together and wondering why he just stood there inside the door.

Optimus felt himself slipping back towards youngling awkwardness. Their first date had been a debacle in his sight. "Ratch…? Oh… um. That is going a little roughly, but… Bumblebee needed some care for his leg, so Ratchet sent us on break."

Elita looked over her shoulder to smile at him and found him staring hard at the wall to his left as he tried to figure out what to say next. She looked back to her cannon and grinned. She knew the symptoms. He had come to be with her.

"So… you have break?" she asked, trying not to sound like she was grinning.

"Yes, I do…" Optimus said, coming over. The initial fright had passed, and he was ready.

Elita glanced at him with a smile as he came within arms-reach. Then she looked back at her cannon, feigning disinterest.

Optimus hesitated. Maybe it was more like _most_ of the initial fright had passed, and he was _almost_ ready.

"Ratchet used a new sedative on Ironhide, and it didn't work too long," he said, unable figure out what he really wanted to say.

Elita raised an optic-ridge. '_What?'_ she thought. She felt a little irked then. Why was he sending mixed signals?

"Ratchet and I had to hide when Ironhide came to," Optimus said with smile as the words began slipping into line. He knew what he was doing now. "'Hide was madder than a Con, so Chromia started flirting him to distract him. All _I_ could think about was how much I missed you." He reached over and caressed Elita's side.

Elita turned to look at him. There were no mixed messages coming from him now. Her smile came back, creeping up her face-plates and made her optics sparkle with extra light.

"I could hear them flirting…. and teasing, and I missed you so badly that it hurt." Optimus said softly. She turned to face him now, and he put a hand on her left side and a hand on her right side, gently rubbing. "I hated it that we are so often to tired for time together in private. There is so much we cannot do in public…" he murmured as she leaned in closer to him. He slipped his arms around her in response, cuddling her. She kissed his neck, tasting as well as smelling his unique alloy. It was sweet to her….

"When Ratchet said 'take a break' I thought I would do paperwork…" Optimus murmured, "But he reminded me that I should do something else, though…"

Although bots tended to maintain a neutral electrical charge over their bodies, they could change that. Optimus ran a negative charge in his hands over Elita, and she responded with a positive one. The energy exchange wasn't quite perfectly balanced yet, but it would be by the time they were done. Until then, it made little static sparks that sent pleasant feelings through the sparkmates' sensory systems as it balanced.

"I love Ratchet," Elita whispered, "It's awesome that he sent you on break…" she told him as she unclasped her middle armoring and dropped it into subspace.

"I was a fool to even consider doing paperwork…" Optimus murmured as his hands ran over her bare back. Her positive charge sent a tingle through his fingers as it conflicted with his negative for a split-second before balancing. He knew she felt the same sensation.

Elita chuckled softly, "It least you're working on overcoming that fault."

"Hm-mmm…" He agreed as he nuzzled her neck. Humans couldn't tell one bot from another by scent, but the bots could. Spark-mates developed a special affinity for their mate's scent, and he and Elita were no different. Her being signaled delightful things to his olfactory system. His did the same to hers.

"Positive reinforcement… I believe… would, mm, help you..."

Optimus ran his hands up to cradle her chin. He kissed her once, long and slowly. Then he kissed a second time. "Yes…" he whispered. "I think so…"

She smiled up at him. This was amazing.

He slipped his fingers up to caress her lips.

She jerked away suddenly with revulsion. "What is on your hands?" she gasped out as she gagged.

Optimus's optics widened with consternation. He sniffed his fingertips lightly. "Ack." He grimaced. "Vinegar." He said with aggravation.

"Vinegar?" Elita asked, rubbing her olfactory sensor (nose). "That is what you bots were using to clean the gum off Ironhide?"

Optimus nodded, frowning down at his fingers. "That _was_ romantic." He said darkly. Stupid vinegar had just wrecked everything.

Elita smiled, "Go wash with soap." she encouraged him gently. "I'll wait for you."

Optimus looked back at his femme. She winked at him. "Alright." he said, pleased that the vinegar hadn't ruined her mood. "I'll be back…"

He touched her side lightly as he kissed her lips, and then he tripped a little over his feet before heading out the door.

Elita smiled at the door for a couple moments, her face aglow with delight. Then she darted to the second room of their quarters and pulled out an armor box.

She stripped her battle armor, the armor she generally wore and dropped it in the box. Then she took out another armor box and put on the armor from it. It was still strong, but it was not as heavy, and the clasps on it weren't as tough. It also didn't have as many dings in it. It had been nicely polished before it had been stored, too, so it had a finer gleam.

She knew Optimus adored her no matter how she looked, but right now she wanted to look especially nice.

"Hmm…" she had rushed, and now she didn't know what to do with herself while she waited. There was a cannon that still needed to be clean, but she wasn't interested in it. She picked up a cube of sweet oil from her little table by the berth. The sweet oil was like a lotion to Transformers, soothing and sweet-smelling. It wouldn't hurt to smell good. –Especially after that vinegar. She nodded to herself and dipped her fingers into the oil. Things would be very nice for her mech when he got back.

XOXOXOXOX

Optimus somehow managed to keep to the speed limit as he drove to the bathhouse. It nearly made him crazy to go so slowly, but he coped with it. He transformed swiftly once he reached his destination, though, and darted into the mechs' side of the showers.

Perceptor, the Autobot scientist, as cool as he was, jumped in surprise at Prime's sudden and hasty arrival.

"Is there some emergency?" he asked, thinking that Prime had come crashing in because he had an urgent message.

Optimus drew a blank. '_What is he talking about…?_'

"Oh. No. There is not." he replied as he realized what the scientist must have been thinking. "Nothing is going on at all. I am simply in a hurry."

"Oh, sir." Perceptor said, looking rather confused. Why would Prime be rushed if nothing was going on? He stood holding a scrub-brush in perplexion and watched as Optimus plunged both hands into a cube of liquid soap.

Optimus pulled his hands out of the soap and rubbed them vigorously together, making the soap froth and foam exceedingly. He scrubbed his left fingers hard against the palm of his right hand, and then he switched, rubbing the right hard against the left.

"Chemicals…?" Perceptor asked. Some chemicals could be quite bad for Transformers. It was the only thing that he could think of that would make the Prime was his hands so urgently.

"No," Optimus replied, frowning at his fingers, "It is vinegar, Perceptor. It smells horrible."

"Ah." Bad smells weren't pleasant, but at least they weren't harmful.

Optimus went and turned on a facet to rinse his hands. He rinsed and rubbed and rinsed again, and then he dried his hands and sniffed them. He paused speculatively.

"I am not sure…" he said. He held out a hand towards Perceptor.

The smaller bot went over and sniffed. "It smells very soapy, but I am not detecting any malodorous particles." He said.

"Hmm…" Optimus didn't particularly care for strongly soapy smells. He knew Elita didn't either. "More rinsing, maybe?"

"Well…" It was Perceptor's turn to pause speculatively. "More rinsing would diminish the soap smell, but it still wouldn't entirely remove the residual odor."

Optimus frowned slightly. "How _would_ I get rid of the 'residual odor.'"

Perceptor had no idea what Prime was worried about, but he did know about smells and substances. "I would suggest masking it with a stronger or more pleasant smell." he hesitated for a second as he thought of a possible treatment. "Ah, a small amount of sweet oil well rubbed in would mask the smell of the soap quite effectively, I believe."

Optimus fairly grinned. "Thank-you, Perceptor! That will be perfect!"

"You are welcome, Prime." The scientist replied, slightly bewildered at this uncharacteristic enthusiasm but pleased nonetheless to serve his leader.

"Um…" Optimus paused half-way to the door. "Where would I find some?"

"Ah, why, that is simple. Ratchet has a good store of it. It's good for helping diminish scar-welds and soothing them during the healing process."

"Oh." He couldn't very well go back to Med-Bay.

"Ohhhh…" Perceptor said understandingly. He half-smiled. "I believe Sunny and Sides may have some spare cans of it in their …ah …"

"Clutter-zone?"

"Well, for a lack of a better word, yes."

"Thank-you, Perceptor." Optimus said, heading towards the door again. "Thank-you very much."

"You're quite w-… Well, he's already gone." Perceptor sighed as the door closed. Primes could be unpredictable at times.

Optimus was hurrying off towards the twins' place of business. It was listed as a body-shop, but with so few bots on Base, business was slow. The twins generally hung out there and plotted while they painted and drew up plans for who-knows-what that they would use in the future. In the event that some-bot did need some bodywork, they were there to do it. The building housed a broad number of armor tools, assorted things used for art-work, detailing equipment, buckets of paint in an astonishingly broad array of colors, and other tools of the trade. This was all good for bodywork. It made sense.

What didn't make sense were the other contents of the building: metallic odds and ends that could be useful at some point, a lot of useful stuff, some useless stuff, and some random things that came in handy when no-one expected them or else got in the way until they showed up in a prank. These were why the body-shop got called the clutter-zone from time to time.

Prowl questioned the twins' motivation behind this clutter, but the twins never got caught doing anything illegal with it, so it stayed there, and the twins continued to run the shop. They manned the shop part of the time, and they left it open the rest of the time. Whether or not they were there, though, Optimus would be able to get some sweet oil from them. He would just have to hail them on their intercom if they weren't there.


	20. Chapter 20, Sleuthing & Syrup

**Sensors. Sticky. Squelched. Submerged. Scuffle. Story. Stuck. Slipping Out. Skeptical. Sure. Scram. Scheme. Science. Superpowers. Sad. Shock. Scare. SNAFU. Scents.**

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><p>Revenge time for Chromia...! X) ~Thank-you to Hummergrey for her suggestion for the revenge prank. Chromia loves it; the twins are going to hate it.<p>

* * *

><p>Chapter 20<p>

**Sleuthing and Syrup**

Optimus reached the twins' place and went in, but the twins were nowhere to be seen.

He looked around at the broad assortment of items and articles around. Actually, it wasn't as messy as some bots implied it was. The shelving system actually appeared to be rather efficient.

Then Optimus smiled ever so slightly as he realized that he'd been going by Prowl's account of the twins' shop. Of course it was going to be frightfully messy in Prowl's optics.

He glanced around, wondering where they might keep a store of sweet oil. He saw some oils of different kinds on one shelf, so he headed over to take a look. Several moments later, he concluded that the twins had every kind of oil except for sweet oil. They even had prank oil.

"'Prank oil'?" Optimus asked aloud, eyeing the label. He was inclined to open the can and see what it looked like, but he stopped before even touching the container. He smiled as he figured it out. It was a prank itself. The twins were no doubt playing on bots' curiosity. He shook his head.

::Twins?:: he asked over a twin comm. to the two of them.

::Yes, sir?:: ~ ::Yes, Prime?:: They answered at almost the time.

::I am at your shop. Where might I find some sweet oil?:: He asked.

No reply came. He waited almost a full minute, and then he hailed them again. ::Twins?::

The connection then informed him that the twins were in a recharge state.

"How…?" he asked the room quietly, puzzled. Nobody dropped into recharge while intercomming with him. And the twins did not dare be disrespectful towards him. Something had to be at least slightly wrong.

What could be wrong? He paused in consideration. Then he remembered the look Chromia had had on face as she'd left Med-Bay. It had been the look of a huntress tracking down her prey.

He remembered that the twins had been teasing Ironhide before he'd gotten to Med-Bay. Nobody messed with Chromia's mech without paying…

His optics widened, and he swiftly headed out of the shop. He had to find those twins before something very bad happened to them. He transformed into truck mode and roared off.

XOXOXOXOXOXOX

Chromia smiled as she left Med-Bay. She'd had quite a bit of time to concoct the perfect revenge to use on Sunny and Sides. They were going to absolutely hate it, but no physical damage would actually be done to them, so she would be safe from a number of charges. The perfect crime.

She drove to the alimentary department's warehouse and selected a number of containers and hid them in a subspace field.

Then, transforming into car form again, she drove off to find the twins. As she drove, she accessed some of the security cameras at a number of the intersections and quickly pinpointed where the trouble-makers had last been seen and what direction they'd been going at the time.

They had been heading to the challenge course, a great place for executing mock battles or plain just hanging out. Or for getting ambushed by a revenge-happy femme.

Chromia drove out to the course and transformed quietly before taking cover. Several minutes of creeping around brought her with in audio-processor range of the twins. Following their voices, she laid optics on them a few moments afterwards.

They were talking with each other as they sauntered along a path.

Chromia smirked. Ambush was going to be in the air. She ducked down and snuck away to position herself a little ways down the path they were taking.

She lay in wait with a smile on her face and stun-guns in each hand.

They came, chatting obliviously. They quieted a little as they neared her location but did not stop.

She aimed at their upper-backs after they passed, and then she pulled both triggers.

"Ah-!" "Gnh!"

Then both twins fell to the ground, unconscious.

Chromia chuckled. They'd never known what hit them, but they would figure out soon enough once they came back online.

She glanced around then slipped from her hiding place, making her way to the twins. She smiled down at them for a moment. Yes, they were going to hate this. She rolled Sunny over onto his back then did the same with Sides.

Then, standing over them, she took a container from her subspace field. "'Aunt Jemima. Original Syrup." She said. "Corn syrup and high fructose corn syrup… very sticky _and_ sugary." She smiled.

She snapped out a little laser-knife and cut the top off the container. She sniffed at the sweet smell that fairly oozed from the bottle. "Humn… uh. That should do it. Sweet dreams, twins."

She held the bottle away from herself and over Sunny's gleaming torso. Then she tipped it. Syrup poured in a steady stream onto the unconscious mech's body.

Chromia's grin grew, and she moved the bottle to spread the syrup around. Up and down his torso she poured the syrup, then drizzled some down his legs.

When the bottle was empty, she got another bottle and cut the top off as well. This time she turned to Sides. The dark syrup soon glistened on his red paint-job.

"No need to skimp." Chromia said, opening another bottle. She gave Sunny another go over, getting his arms this time, and making sure she covered everything from his shoulders down. Then she made sure that Sides matched.

She stepped back to survey her work. Both twins were well drenched in syrup. Once a few scout ants found the syrup, thousands of the tiny creepy-crawlies would swarm to the feast.

She grinned with malicious glee. The twins were going to utterly freak out when they came back online. And they would know that nobody messed Chromia's mech without paying for it.

It was going to be very sweet revenge.

Then she paused. She heard…

She heard Optimus coming in truck mode.

'_Oh! He's supposed to be with his femme! What's he doing here?_' She thought. Well, she couldn't stay around to find out. She quickly and covertly scampered a short distance away to hide from the Prime.

::Elita! I just pulled a revenge prank on the twins for harassing Ironhide, and your mech just showed up to check on them!:: Chromia protested over the intercom. ::He was supposed to be spending time with you! Not checking up on me!::

::I am sorry, Chromia,:: Elita told her friend, but she was rather amused, ::I sent Optimus off to wash his hands because they stank of vinegar. He must picked up on something and had to check. You are pretty dangerous when angered; he probably feared for the twins' well-being.::

::As he should. But this time there isn't going to be any physical damage. Just countless hexapoda swarming over them.::

::Chromia! You didn't!::

::I did. Several gallons of Aunt Jemima's best syrup.::

::Let me know how it turns out!:: Elita, as kind as she usually was, didn't mind the occasional revenge prank on the twins.

::Will do. Chromia out.::

Optimus pulled up and halted when he saw the unconscious twins. Quickly, he transformed and stepped over to take a closer look at them. His optics widened when he saw the syrup on them. It was trickling down through the spaces in their armor and no doubt oozing into their systems. And ants were going to come and crawl into…

Optimus shuddered violently at the thought.

He stepped over closer, intending to crouch down and re-online the younger mechs. Then he stopped. They pulled too many pranks, and they teased the other bots many times too often. The ants and bugs would be excessively unpleasant, but they wouldn't do any harm. Perhaps the twins would learn a lesson from this.

Optimus stepped back reluctantly.

"I am sorry, twins." He said softly. "You must face the consequences. I hope you'll learn." He turned away. Chromia was going to have her sweet revenge on the twins. He shook his head as he walked away. He hoped he would never make Chromia mad enough at him for her to take action against him. She was one formidable femme-bot. Well, he was the Prime; rank might protect him if he ever did something that stupid.

He stopped in his tracks as he realized how much time must have passed since he'd left his quarters. Speaking of formidable femmes-!

::Elita?:: he asked anxiously over the comm. as he picked up his pace.

::Yes?:: She sounded a little amused.

::I… I… am sorry I have been taking so long. A possible emergency situation came up, and I had to check on it. I am on my way back to our quarters right now.::

::Chromia told me.:: Elita replied, and Optimus could tell she was probably laughing.

::Oh…!:: his relief was evident. ::I will be there as soon as possible, Light of My Spark.::

::You'd better be.:: Elita teased. ::Or I might have to come up with some kind of punishment for you.::

::What about a reward for being on time?::

::You'll see. Elita-One signing off.::

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><p>Review please! Reviews show interest, and I'm more likely to work on something that people are interested in than something they're not.<p> 


	21. Chapter 21, Solved

**Sensors. Sticky. Squelched. Submerged. Scuffle. Story. Stuck. Slipping Out. Skeptical. Sure. Scram. Scheme. Science. Superpowers. Sad. Shock. Scare. SNAFU. Scents. Sleuthing and Syrup.**

* * *

><p>Chapter 21<p>

**Solved**

Chromia watched the retreating Prime with a sense of relief as well as satisfaction. He wasn't going to mess up her revenge, and that was satisfying. He obviously wasn't going to look for her anymore, so that was a relief.

Then, to her dismay, Optimus slowed and stopped. Then he turned. "Chromia," he called.

'_He couldn't have seen me..._'

He walked back towards the scene of the crime. "Chromia, I know you are somewhere near." He said firmly. "I just need to ask a question."

Chromia hoped he was bluffing and pretended that she hadn't heard him.

"Chromia," he still sounded pretty certain that she was out there.

"The matter is this," he said, apparently deciding that she was within hearing-range. "The vinegar we used to clean Ironhide smelled bad, and Elita didn't like the smell. So I went and washed with soap, and now my hands smell just a little bit too soapy. You know Elita does not especially care for the smell of soap. Perceptor said a little sweet oil would mask the smell of the soap, but I couldn't find any in the twins' shop, and you stun-gunned them before they could answer me. I just need a little help."

Chromia thought for a couple moments. She could come out and help him, but she wasn't sure it would be entirely a good idea. He could take her to task for taking revenge out on the twins.

"Oh… kay…" Optimus sounded a little embarrassed. "I guess I will have to online a twin…" he muttered, stepping closer to the twins, taking care to not get syrup on his feet.

::Optimus!:: Chromia hailed him on the intercom.

::Greetings, Chromia.:: he replied.

Chromia, from her hiding place, saw him grin. '_Oh! That mech..!_' He'd known she was watching and had only _acted_ like he thought she wasn't there! He'd known she'd show herself some way if he moved to online a twin.

::Faker!:: She accused over the intercom.

::It worked.:: He replied.

::Grrr.::

::Will you help me out?::

::Well… I do have a warm place in my spark for poor helpless mechs, so I guess I will. Meet me at the nearest paved intersection, and I'll have some sweet oil for you.::

::Thank-you. Optimus out.::

::Chromia signing off.:: She replied. She watched him walk away. Once he was gone from view, she quickly came out of hiding and hurried after him. She didn't really have to meet him at the nearest paved intersection; she just wanted him away from the crime scene before she came out of hiding.

He slowed when he heard her coming and looked over his shoulder.

"Greetings, Prime." She said, grinning as she caught up with him.

"Greetings yourself." He said, glancing over her form briefly as she fell into step beside him.

"What was that for?" she asked, raising an optic-ridge.

"I was wondering if there was any organic evidence on you that would tell where you had been hiding." He said.

"Does that line work on all the femmes?" she teased.

"Usually." He said.

Chromia chuckled. "Here," she tossed him a small cube. He caught it easily and looked at it. She smiled at his face, the careful calculating face of a Prime. "Trust me enough to use it?" she asked. She was teasing, but she asked in fairly serious tone.

His optics widened in surprise as he stopped, and Chromia chuckled at his reaction.

"Well…" he said slowly, "I _did_…" Then he smiled, letting her know that he was teasing as well. He dipped his fingertips in the cube then handed it back to her. He rubbed the oil well over his hands then buffed it quickly with the cloth Chromia offered him.

"Thank-you very, very much." He told her was he was done, handing the cloth back.

"You're welcome, you silly helpless mech-being. Now, let me smell."

He held out his hands for inspection. Chromia sniffed.

"Mm, very good." She said with evident approval. "Now, behave yourself and don't be late for dinner."

"I'm past youngling age; I'll behave how I please and be late for dinner if I like." He said, chuckling, then he initiated his transform sequence dropped down into truck mode.

He revved his engine and drove off, pleased that his problem was solved. Well, at least _that_ problem was solved. There were other problems still left. Like the problem of Ironhide. And the double problem of the twins. Oh, yes, and Prowl would be a problem sooner or later.

Optimus pulled up to his quarters and transformed at the door before opening it and going in.

Elita looked absolutely drop-dead gorgeous, leaning there on the table. He grinned the second he set optics on her.

She straightened and put her fists on her hips. "Bad mech." She said, her twinkling optics and playful lips belying her words. "You broke your word and took a long time. You're in for punishment." She motioned to the couch. "Get over there and bend over. You're in for a spanking, hard."

Optimus tucked his chin, running his optics to those hips her hands were on. "Aw…"

"I mean it." She said, coming over to make him obey her. He gently resisted when she put her hands on him and playfully allowed her to wrestle him to the couch. "There." She said when he was in the desired location, "Now, over." She said, pushing him to sit.

He shook his head gently, smiling invitingly up at her. Elita smiled, and a little more wrestling followed until her mech was prone over the couch. Then she smacked him firmly, lovingly on the behind.

"Ow, how much?" he asked.

"Hush." Elita ordered, smiling with delight at having him all to herself. She gave his behind a few more smacks and then a final one.

He endured his "punishment" with pleasure then rolled over when it was over and gently pulled the punisher on top of himself.

"You gonna be good now?" she asked, smiling in a kissable a way as she cuddled on him.

"Absolutely not." He said with conviction. Then he stole a kiss, a thorough one.

"Mmm…" Elita liked this kind of thief. "Hey," she said after the kiss, "Did you get your hands clean?"

"Yes…" he ran them up her back then slipped it up in front for her to sniff.

She sniffed. With her lying on him, he felt her form tighten a little when she repressed laughter.

"Oh, now what?" he asked, amused because she was trying to not laugh.

"I'm not telling," she teased.

"I'm good at interrogating,"

"I know something you're better at," she hinted.

"But, I want to know," he insisted softly, nuzzling her cheek.

"You got sweet oil from Chromia." She said, chuckling softly.

"And what makes you think that?" he murmured... her neck smelled good...

"Uh-uh. No, I already gave you the information you wanted."

"Mm-hm, but I want more…" his whispered, shifting so he could cuddle her better.

"Mm, persistent mech, huh?"

"I always get my way in the end…"

"That so…?"

"Uh… huh…" he purred, caressing her.

"Well… I… might consider making a bargain with you, then."

"I'm very, very good at those," he purred, kissing her some more between phrases. "Very, very generous…"

"Okay... I guessed because your hands now smell like Ironhide's."

Optimus groaned.

"Happy now that your mystery is solved?" Elita teased.

Optimus chuckled ruefully. "I was happier before. –Elita. It's just sweet oil, how can it smell like Ironhide?"

Elita smiled, chuckling fondly at his curiosity. "The scent is very, very slight. It just barely smells like him."

"Ah…" He said, relaxing now.

"Mm-hm."

Then he chuckled. "This would explain why Chromia was so very approving of how my hands smelled."

Elita was amused. "It would. No wonder… A femme loves her mech's smell."

"-Just not when he smells like vinegar."

"Silly Prime…" she murmured, putting her fingertips lightly on his face. The teasing faded away, and a sincere look of unmitigated tenderness replaced it as he gazed up at her.

"I love you." he said gently. "More than anything, I love you."

Elita smiled at him. "I love you, too." She replied. Then she gave him a kiss.

"Forgive me for failing at the hand-scent?" he asked, rubbing her back.

She chuckled softly. "Yes." She replied, nuzzling him. "And forgive you for being so late, too."

"Can't win, can I?"

"Oh, but, yes, you can…" she whispered, "I'll show you…"

She rose, and he smiled as she took his hand to pull him up and lead him away. Poor Ironhide… Some bots weren't lucky that day, and some bots were.


	22. Chapter 22, Second Phase

Life happens. *deep sigh* I'm happy to say that I have graduated from my community college. Now that that's all taken care of, here's an update!

**Sensors. Sticky. Squelched. Submerged. Scuffle. Story. Stuck. Slipping Out. Skeptical. Sure. Scram. Scheme. Science. Superpowers. Sad. Shock. Scare. SNAFU. Scents. Sleuthing and Syrup. Solved.**

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><p>Chapter 22<p>

**Second Phase**

Chromia found herself doubting the severity of her revenge as she sauntered back towards the unconscious twins. They would certainly scream and yell when they awoke, which was why she was heading back to the area, but how lasting would the impact be? They would just have to shower, and it would be over.

Chromia halted and pursed her lips speculatively. Shower. The twins would have to shower.

Shower...

A wicked twinkle came to her optics as a smirk took over her lips. She grinned as an idea crystallized in her processors. Those twins… were in for it.

Her idea would take away from the area, though, so she hesitated. Perhaps she could plant a hidden camera to catch the reaction while she worked on the new part of the revenge?

She considered it and liked it. She nodded to herself.

Quickly returning to the scene of the crime, she attached a little recording device to a nearby tree and aimed it at the twins, setting it to record both audio and video. She would have to miss out on hearing the screams in person, but the hidden camera would give her a good enough idea of how it went. She scampered off then. Phase two of sweet revenge was waiting to be set up.

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Chromia pulled up to the shower house and looked around to ensure that she was alone. Finding no one in sight, she slipped over to the mechs' side and listened against the door. There was nobody in there.

She carefully slid the door open and looked in just to double check. It was empty. Good. It would be bad if anybody got trapped in the shower because of a door malfunction. She looked pleased as she closed the door.

Going over to the main door, she peeked out to make sure no one was coming, and then she went back to the mechs' door. She lay down on her right side then gently pried open the maintenance panel next to the door with her left hand and peered at the workings within. She looked it over thoughtfully. She needed to make the door stop working, but she didn't want to make it too hard to repair in case she was the one who had to repair it.

She pulled a wire loose, and then she unscrewed a couple screws, loosening several gears after that. She paused, speculatively eyeing the workings as she wondered what other damage she could do on the door system. Maybe this spring…

She heard the main door opening and looked over her shoulder, hoping it was a femme and not a mech.

It was Ultra Magnus.

And there was a good layer of mud over every square inch of his gorgeous body.

"Hi, Magnus!" Chromia greeted him cheerfully, not rising. "You're not wanting in the shower are you?" she asked, resting her left hand on her hip as she smiled up at him. She was posing but not being too obvious about it.

"Uh-um… I was…" He said, bothered by the sight of Ironhide's curvy prize lying there like that on the floor in front of the mechs' showers.

"I'm sorry to disappoint," she said, moving to point at the panel. Ultra Magnus's optics shifted away from her form quickly. "But the door seems like it's not working."

"Oh." He said, looking straight at the door. "Ah… why… I mean…"

"You mean, what's a femme doing worrying about whether the mechs' shower door works or not?" Chromia sounded fairly innocent.

"Exactly." He said. Suspicion touched his expression, but he did not look down.

She giggled a little. "Ultra Magnus."

His optics stayed on the door.

"Ironhide's going to be needing his soap." Chromia said, chuckling. "And he doesn't usually keep it in the femmes' side of the shower." She heard a small choking sound emanate from Ultra Magnus's vocal processors.

"I…" Magnus started to say. "Ahm. I suggest you call maintenance and have them fix the door." He managed to say.

"Oh, no. I can get it." Chromia said coaxingly as she wiggled to get into a better position. "They are pretty simple workings."

"I… uh, have a meeting to be at shortly, so I'll just um go through the err truck wash." He said, stepping away. "You really should call maintenance."

"Oh… Tell you what. If I don't get the desired result, I'll call them. Okay?"

"Okay." He said uncertainly.

"See you later." She said as he headed for the door.

"Later." He said quickly. Then he was gone. Chromia snickered.

'_I coulda made him blush if I'd tried._' She thought mischievously. _'Oh, come, femme. Be good. You're going to have enough enjoyment at the twins' expense as it is; you don't need to embarrass poor Ultra Magnus for no reason._'

She got up and tried the door, grinning triumphantly when it failed to open. '_Very good!_'

She went into the femme's side of the showers and looked around. The twins would need soap. Arcee and Elita both had tinting after-soaps that helped bring out the pink in their armor. Chromia had a blue after-soap of her own, and Firestar had one for red while Moonracer had a soft green one. Chromia took Moonracer's and Firestar's soaps and hid them in a container marked "Private." She did the same with her own soaps. She left the pink-tinting soaps, but took all the other ones and put them in container as well.

Then she looked in the container again. There were some pieces of extra femme armor.

Dare she leave some lying around?

She looked them over and decided that she'd better not. She wanted to embarrass the twins, not the other femmes.

She stood there and considered her whole plot again. The twins would online and find themselves swarming with insects. They'd scream like little femmes and come running for the shower house only to find that they couldn't get into the mechs' side. Thus, in desperation, they would dash into the femmes' side. And then they would frantically use the pink femmes' soaps, which would tint their paint. Sunny's paint would turn a horrible pinkish-orange, no doubt, and Sides' red would definitely take on a pink hue.

Chromia grinned triumphantly. With the second phase added now, the revenge was going to be superb.


	23. Chapter 23, Screams

Hi! Sorry for the three month delay! O.O I'd not realized that it had been so long!

**Sensors. Sticky. Squelched. Submerged. Scuffle. Story. Stuck. Slipping Out. Skeptical. Sure. Scram. Scheme. Science. Superpowers. Sad. Shock. Scare. SNAFU. Scents. Sleuthing and Syrup. Solved. Second Phase.**

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><p>Chapter 23<p>

**Screams**

"Mmm… uh… ow." Sunny groaned. He felt like he'd fallen on his face. His sensors were mostly offline still, but they suggested that he was lying on his back.

"Uhhh…" Sunny's twin moaned. "Shore-range hi' wi' uh… stun-guh…" he slurred.

Something was buzzing. Sunny supposed it was his head. Stun-guns weren't very nice at short range. The buzzing wasn't steady though.

And something was tickling his arm. Residual sensor-reading from the stun as well, he supposed.

It was tickling his chest, too, though. And his ankle. And his knee. It was awkwardly tickly in his crotch, and disconcertingly tickly in his midsection. His left foot tickled a bit, too. In fact, all of him was very tickly. He moved his hips a little. He didn't like the tickling down _there_.

And the buzzing wasn't going away like it should.

He must have been hit badly at close range. With a high setting…

By whom, though?

"**_EEEEEEEEEEEEE-!_**" Sideswipe started screaming.

Sunny snapped his optics open and saw that the air around them was filled with flying insects of all kinds. Wasps, honeybees, bumblebees, sweat-bees, yellow-jackets, flies.

"EW! Get away!" He gasped, flinching in disgust. Sides was still screaming like a little femme. Sunny directed his optics towards his twin and found him doing some weird crazed dance among the bees, waving his arms and kicking his feet like a flapper from the 1920's as well as shimmying like a belly-dancer got berserk. "Sides…?"

"THEY'RE ALL OVER MEEEEEEEE-!" Sides screamed, doing some high kicks. A Scottish Fling? The Cancan?

"What…?"

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-!"

Sunny decided then that Sides had gone mental. Sunny shifted to rise, intending to put a stop to his twin's fit. However, hundreds on tiny exoskeletons crunched beneath and within him, and he froze as revulsion and horror filled him. He turned widening optics to his own body then let out a blood-curdling screech at the sight as he jumped up.

Hundreds, thousands, ten-thousands, hundred-thousands- _countless_ numbers of ants were swarming over and _in_ him. And the bees, all kinds, were landing on him. _THAT_ was what the tickling had been.

"EWWWWW-!" Sunny screeched as full realization hit him. "EW! _EW!_ _EW!_ **_EW!_**"

"_EEEEEE_-!" Sides was still dancing, and it was growing more frenzied.

Sunny, on the other hand, could barely stand to move. Each movement crunched up more insects, and sent the surviving ones scurrying across the neuron-like sensor-wires that ran through his body.

"Sides…" Sunny said. They had to do something to stop this.

Sides kept screaming and dancing the Cancan.

"SIDES!" Sunny yelled, trying to get his brother's attention. "SIDESWIPE!" He roared, taking a step towards his frenzied brother. The step caused a negative effect on the sensor-readings in Sunny's pelvis. "GAH!" He yelled, twitching. He could be Elvis Presley. Or Michael Jackson dancing to "Bad."

"EEEEE-!" He was moving now. "Sides!" He yelled, running over to his brother and grabbing his arm.

"WHAT?!" Sides screamed with no dignity as he did something resembling the Hokey-Pokey.

"We- Have- To- Get- To- The- Showers-!" Sunny gasped out frantically as he wriggled a sped up version of the Bunny-Hop. He had to get the bugs out from under his armor-! Strip-dancing would be highly frowned upon-

"-Showers!" Gasped Sides. Then he ran. Sunny ran after him. They ran like Megatron was after them. They ran like Prime was after them. They ran because a million or so insects were crawling in their inwards parts and nether parts.

"SHOWER!" Sides yelled in relief as they crashed through the entry way.

"OOF!" Sunny fell hard against the door when he tried to fling it open.

"Openitopenitopenit!" Sides rattled like Blurr.

"I can't!" Sunny yelped.

Sides grabbed the door handle and jerked. He jerked and jerked. Then he gasped. "W-w-we can't g-g-get in!" He stuttered in horror.

Sunny twitched some more. Then he bolted for the femmes' side.

Sides gasped. "We can't go in _there, Sunstreaker!_"

"If no one's in-!" Sunny knocked on the door. "ANY ONE IN?!" he yelled. No one answered, and he flung the door open. Sideswipe bolted in before him and wrenched a shower on.

"COLD!" he screamed, jumping out from underneath it. Then his stuck his fingers in and found that it had warmed up. He darted back under the down pour. "Drown, bugs, drowwwwwn…"

Sunny twitched again and then began stripping under his own shower. He sighed in relief as the insects drowned and ceased moving. He began to feel better. He had no idea that Chromia was in her private quarters laughing at the footage of him and Sides dancing and screaming.

The femme was sprawled on the couch with her data-pad in hand. She laughed and hooted with laughter until she choked and her venting system kicked on to cool her. She coughed and giggled then sighed and took a break before hitting replay.

She grinned. Not only did she have revenge, she also had enough blackmail material to last a century or two on their screams alone.


	24. Chapter 24, Soapy

Hi all! :D Sorry about the delays on this update! It is a secondary story, so I don't spend as much time on it as I do my main story.

Thanks, by the way, for all the reviews and faves! I do love them, and I enjoying reading all your reactions. :D

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><p><strong>Sensors. Sticky. Squelched. Submerged. Scuffle. Story. Stuck. Slipping Out. Skeptical. Sure. Scram. Scheme. Science. Superpowers. Sad. Shock. Scare. SNAFU. Scents. Sleuthing and Syrup. Solved. Second Phase. Screams.<strong>

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><p>Chapter 24<p>

**Soapy**

Sunny sighed as he let the shower pour over him. The water was mercifully washing away the countless drowned insects.

"That was bad." Sideswipe said in a reminiscent tone. He was much calmer now. No more dancing. No more yelling. Just him and Sunny half un-armored in the warm shower.

"Yeah." Sunny agreed, widening his optics in retrospect. "We're fine now, though." He added, oblivious to the fact that Chromia had recorded it all and was still recording them with a smirk on her face.

"Well… the things are kinda smeared…" Sides noted as he removed his midriff plating.

"EEEeew. Don't even say mention the squished ones." Sunny said, grossed out at the prospect.

"Disgusting things, bugs…"

"Just don't. I won't be able to stand the words 'bug,' 'beetle,' 'insect,' or 'arthropod' for several months at least."

(Chromia's smirk widened).

Sides eyed the soaps. Sunny's optics followed his. "I don't think they would miss a little." Sides hinted.

Sunny looked speculative. "Yeah… I don't think so either, and besides, I hear they share their stuff among each other a lot."

"Huh?!"

"That's what I heard."

"Weird." Sides said with a grin, intrigued at this behavior in the interesting other make.

"I know, right?" Sunny said, approaching the soap. "They're all pink?"

"Odd." Sides said, "I mean, what do I know about femmes' showers. I would think that they'd have different colors for each of them, but who knows. Hey, they all share, then I guess it's all the same."

(Chromia pressed her fingers tightly over her lips to keep from hooting with laughter at this point).

"I guess that makes sense…" Sunny said hesitantly.

(Chromia grinned at their naivety).

The twins turned off the showers in order to not waste water while they soaped up, and then Sunny took one of the soaps as Sides took another. Sides sniffed his. Sunny raised an optic-ridge at him. "Does it smell funny?" he asked.

Sides shook his head. "No. Smells kinda good… you know… like Arcee."

"Uhhhh… okay." Sunny gave his twin an odd look.

"What?" Sides asked raising a hand palm upwards.

"You don't _like_ Arcee, _do you_?"

"No way!" Sides exclaimed. "That's ridiculous. I don't _like_ Arcee. I don't. I mean, I like her, but I don't _like_ like her. I do think she smells nice though."

("Wow." Chromia said, chuckling).

"Well, okay." Sunny said, set at ease.

The two mechs had stripped some of their armoring initially, but now they removed almost all the rest of it. They kept their front pelvic pieces in place; they were in the femmes' showers, after all, and they really didn't want to risk exposing specific anatomy.

(Chromia smiled. There wasn't a mech on base whose body came close to being as hot as Ironhide's).

Sunny dipped his fingers into the soap and rubbed them on his washcloth. Then he began to scrub himself. Sides did the same with his borrowed soap. The soap foamed up on their sleek metallic bodies.

"Duuuude. This _bubbly_ soap." Sides commented in amazement.

"Ours is bubbly, too." Sunny said, grimacing at how pink the suds were.

"Not like this, though."

(Chromia squirmed in eager anticipation of what would soon happen-).

"Oh, whatever." Sunny said dismissively as he soaped up his armor.

"What, jealous of the pretty bubbles?" Sides teased.

"You're crazy." Sunny said, wadding up his washcloth and throwing it at his brother's bare back.

"And you're my twin." Sides told him, grinning as he soaped up his own armoring.

"And you laugh because I can't do anything about it." Sunny added with a good-natured grumble.

Sides chuckled at the joke and shook his head. "Seriously, though, I think this soap is a little _too_ bubbly."

"Bubbles I can handle." Sunny said, "I personally think it's a little too pink."

Sides chuckled again. "Well, I won't disagree there." He said as he turned his shower back on. He stepped into the spray of water, and the bubbles swished away. He gasped in horror, and his face twisted up in a look of terrible shock.

(Chromia grinned with unmitigated delight).

Sunny looked over then and gasped so hard that it glitched his venting system and made him choke. Sides gave his shoulders a heavy thump. Sunny gasped again in relief, but he stared in shock.

"Y-y-y-you…" Sunny stuttered, "You - you're _PINK_!"


End file.
